Blood, sweat and tears are at the root of everything that I love. They are especially at the root of my job. My ex husband often told me that I poured too much of myself into my job. I disagreed with him, and that's part of the reason why he's my ex!
Six years ago, I was teaching fourth grade. I loved it. The students were witty, smart and eager to learn. I had Mikey in my class. To call him a challenge was an understatement. He was angry, frustrated, defensive and NOT going to make my job an easy one. The game was on. I let him know the rules. I was scared, but I always accept a challenge with open arms. Mikey gave me a workout. I was mentally and physically exhausted. I had to always stay one or two steps ahead of him... anticipating his next move and making sure my next move wasn't my last. The students in my class watched the dance. Some of them were secretly hoping that Mikey would end up turning the tables, and ultimately running the roost.
October crawled around. I was almost dead. I went into the principal's office. "Mary, are you trying to kill me?" She released a hearty laugh and asked me why I would ask her such a thing. "Listen", I said. "I've got one arm and one leg in the coffin. That boy's killing me. If you give me a swift kick in the ass, I'm going to roll right in and the lid's gonna slam down on me. You can just put me in the ground. I don't think I'm going to make it much longer in that classroom!" Mary leaned in close to me. "Sue, I gave Mikey to you because I know you're a strong teacher. You can handle him. Don't give up so easliy... just stick with it." I doubted her, but I kept with it. I plodded along and didn't give up. The days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months.
I loved that boy. Every day I tirelessly gave of myself - my patience, my advice, my sense of humor, discipline, tough love - but most of all, it was love that I gave Mikey. I gave him the kind of love that a mother would give her own child. Love and compassion to heal a boy who was broken at the age of 9. It's really sad, if you take a moment to think of it that way. Even on days when he was angry, rude, relentless and frightening, I loved him.
June rolled around. The tough, defensive boy who had entered my classroom in September was happy and softened. He had a beautiful smile that had replaced a menacing scowl. His voice was soft and rounded and nothing like the gruff and tough street voice that had scared the very core of me 10 months before that. The blood, sweat and tears that we had both poured into our relationship had paid off. A kind and gentle boy stood before me. You might say that I had broken him. That's not a negative thing. He had been wild and unruly. Just a year prior to this point, he had told his classmates that he wished he could cut them up into a million pieces and throw their body parts out of the window. He had turned 180 degrees on his heel and was the opposite of that "other" boy. I was proud, and somewhat sad to set him free and release him into the world, but I did. For I loved him. If you love something, you must let it free... it has to find its place in the world. And so I let him go.
Fast forward 5 years, and the time flew faster than a blink of an eye. I was standing outside the school. I heard my name. I looked around and my sight landed on the biggest smile I had ever seen. I instantly knew that smile. I made my way across the busy street and into his direct line of sight. "Mikey! Wow! I can't believe it's you! What grade are you in now? Which school are you in? Are you cutting class? You look great!" I was gushing and proud and inquisitive and I barely let the boy get a word in edgewise before I fired off another question. Poor thing... He answered all of my questions and seemed surprised that I was still teaching at the same elementary school. For me, I can't imagine being a part of any other family... I've been teaching there for 17 years, and I'm having the time of my life. It seems just like yesterday that I started my career there.
As we talked, I realized that he's still the same soft, beautiful and changed boy. His smile said it all. I felt good inside. "I want to be at your graduation. I want to be your biggest fan. I will cheer you on and embarrass you. I want to be there for you when you make it. Please don't forget to invite me... I will be there!" He smiled again. "You'll be there." he replied. At that moment, so many emotions came back to me. So many memories of how hard it was to bring him around just flooded my mind. I reached out and ruffled his hair with my hand. "Mikey - never forget that I love you. I will always love you. Do the right thing. Stay out of trouble and go to class." "I will", he replied. As I turned on my heel he called out "Ms. C! You always had my back." My heart skipped a beat. I turned slowly and looked him in the eye... "I always will, Mikey. I always will!"
My parting words had been spoken. We had spoken volumes in mere minutes. I reminded him that love can guide you through the darkest times. He reminded me that blood, sweat and tears are worth it. Lives can be changed and lives can be saved... all it takes is faith and perseverence. It is a risky business to love, but Mikey reminded me that love can soften even the toughest skin. He also showed me that until you've imagined yourself in someone elses' shoes, don't even make a judgement. Mikey was just as good for me as I was for him. Who knew that a child could teach me such a valuable life lesson? Mikey was proof. He also reminded me that I do not know the exponential power of my job, and that's a beautiful thing!