Bright against a dark sky
almost surreal
Sunglow is magical
Immediately warming and
eyecatchingly attractive -
difficult to look away.
Sunglow is
absorbed and reflected
all at once
making the autumn leaves
seem so alive when we know inside
that they are anything but...
Sunglow makes you feel the
rust and amber and maple red
it makes you feel the honey and
the oak brown and orange turning reds
for as the sunglow casts its light
perspective tends to shift.
Sunglow starts at dawn and ends at dusk
and everything inbetween
it seeps and steeps into my soul
a golden glow within my heart.
And when night casts out
a dark blanket in the sky,
It is sunglow sparkling down
as a million, twinkling stars-
Liquid light, flowing free
the happy hum
of feeling so alive.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Emil, AKA: Mr. P
His name is Emil, but we all call him Mr. P. Commuting is a part of my daily routine, and it is something that I embrace, for the ride has truly enriched my life. Yeah, yeah... I can hear you naysayers now. I'm not kidding. Taking Metro North to work and home again has changed my life.
Take Mr. P, for example. He's a fellow teacher, who now rides the rails for a living. We met last year, and every time he's on my train, we enjoy a hearty conversational exchange. Every day, I glance around to see which conductor we have in the afternoon. Our regular conductor used to be Bobby, but he had to take a leave of absence because his wife has breast cancer. I truly miss him, and I pray that his wife has a speedy recovery... the train just isn't the same without our Bobby! Bobby and David used to be the Dynamic Duo, but the schedules changed, conductors were bumped and now we just ride with a bunch of curmudgeons.
There's nothing curmudgeonly about Mr. P! Actually, he's the exact opposite. I was talking to Laura and Chris when I glanced back over my left shoulder to see who our evening conductor was. I saw a friendly, familiar face. "Mr. P!" I excitedly (and rudely) shouted out in the middle of our conversation. "MR. P!!! It has been such a long time since I saw you!" He looked at me and his face immediately lit up. What an amazing breath of fresh air, Mr. P is. I didn't even stop to think about the other passengers. I wonder now, what they must have thought about my enthusiastic greeting! I bet they wondered what was so special about Mr. P.
We chatted and smiled. Laura and Chris said something about train trivia, and they encouraged Mr. P to give me the trivia quiz. He checked a few tickets, and hurried back into the vestibule to administer the quiz. "Every train has a special number. What is the number of this train?" Being the logical creature that I am, I inquired as to how many digits this said number had. Chris started to chuckle and he pointed to the far side of the train car. There it was... 8834, our particular train number. I laughed. "8834... that's the number of our train, Mr. P." I declared. "You're right!" he answered. He proceeded to create my prize. He took his train punch and created a smiley face on the little ticket that he punches to indicate that you have paid the proper fare.
Mr. P joked as he punched. "Hold onto this ticket. You never know. They might pick up this show, and it may become as popular as Cash Cab. Then your ticket will be worth a lot... it's my signature ticket, you know." I looked down at the ticket he had handed me. It was a smiley face. Mr, P smiled and continued. "Have you ever noticed something? Happiness comes from within. Those people who aren't happy, the ones who are always angry about something... those people are ususally dissastified with something inside of them, and they are angry because they are unable to change. People who are happy show it because the happiness comes from inside of them." I told Mr. P that I would always treasure his punched happy face.
"Wait!" he said excitedly. "I am going to make you a second smiley face. I want you to put this one on your mirror. You should look at it first thing in the morning when you wake up. Start your day out happy. You should look at it at night before you go to bed. You should go to sleep happy as well." I looked closely at Mr. P. His eyes were smiling. His face was happy. He was content and genuine. I am lucky that I met Mr. P, and that I took the time to get to know him. What a treasure!
Mr. P pleases wherever he goes. He is genuine, happy and educated. He rides the rails and he teaches as he does. He also learns, for that's what every good teacher does. Mr. P's classroom is a non-traditional classroom... and his students are lucky to meet him. The luckiest ones are those who listen and learn something from what he has to say.
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. ~Mahatma Gandhi
Go out and be happy. Life is short. May each of you be blessed with someone as happy and as wonderful as Mr. P in your life.
Take Mr. P, for example. He's a fellow teacher, who now rides the rails for a living. We met last year, and every time he's on my train, we enjoy a hearty conversational exchange. Every day, I glance around to see which conductor we have in the afternoon. Our regular conductor used to be Bobby, but he had to take a leave of absence because his wife has breast cancer. I truly miss him, and I pray that his wife has a speedy recovery... the train just isn't the same without our Bobby! Bobby and David used to be the Dynamic Duo, but the schedules changed, conductors were bumped and now we just ride with a bunch of curmudgeons.
There's nothing curmudgeonly about Mr. P! Actually, he's the exact opposite. I was talking to Laura and Chris when I glanced back over my left shoulder to see who our evening conductor was. I saw a friendly, familiar face. "Mr. P!" I excitedly (and rudely) shouted out in the middle of our conversation. "MR. P!!! It has been such a long time since I saw you!" He looked at me and his face immediately lit up. What an amazing breath of fresh air, Mr. P is. I didn't even stop to think about the other passengers. I wonder now, what they must have thought about my enthusiastic greeting! I bet they wondered what was so special about Mr. P.
We chatted and smiled. Laura and Chris said something about train trivia, and they encouraged Mr. P to give me the trivia quiz. He checked a few tickets, and hurried back into the vestibule to administer the quiz. "Every train has a special number. What is the number of this train?" Being the logical creature that I am, I inquired as to how many digits this said number had. Chris started to chuckle and he pointed to the far side of the train car. There it was... 8834, our particular train number. I laughed. "8834... that's the number of our train, Mr. P." I declared. "You're right!" he answered. He proceeded to create my prize. He took his train punch and created a smiley face on the little ticket that he punches to indicate that you have paid the proper fare.
Mr. P joked as he punched. "Hold onto this ticket. You never know. They might pick up this show, and it may become as popular as Cash Cab. Then your ticket will be worth a lot... it's my signature ticket, you know." I looked down at the ticket he had handed me. It was a smiley face. Mr, P smiled and continued. "Have you ever noticed something? Happiness comes from within. Those people who aren't happy, the ones who are always angry about something... those people are ususally dissastified with something inside of them, and they are angry because they are unable to change. People who are happy show it because the happiness comes from inside of them." I told Mr. P that I would always treasure his punched happy face.
"Wait!" he said excitedly. "I am going to make you a second smiley face. I want you to put this one on your mirror. You should look at it first thing in the morning when you wake up. Start your day out happy. You should look at it at night before you go to bed. You should go to sleep happy as well." I looked closely at Mr. P. His eyes were smiling. His face was happy. He was content and genuine. I am lucky that I met Mr. P, and that I took the time to get to know him. What a treasure!
Mr. P pleases wherever he goes. He is genuine, happy and educated. He rides the rails and he teaches as he does. He also learns, for that's what every good teacher does. Mr. P's classroom is a non-traditional classroom... and his students are lucky to meet him. The luckiest ones are those who listen and learn something from what he has to say.
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. ~Mahatma Gandhi
Go out and be happy. Life is short. May each of you be blessed with someone as happy and as wonderful as Mr. P in your life.
Monday, October 18, 2010
A Place For Change
There is a place
where hopes and dreams mix
with the everyday ebb and flow
of life.
It is there, where one is most
vulnerable
Easily broken and discarded
or amazingly built up and made
stronger.
Taking steps forward
or
falling back into the darkness.
It doesn't matter how strong
one is...
The pull of one or the other
is always stronger.
Do you get pulled out to sea,
or do you get stuck in an eddy-
constantly moving around
and around and around...
Change is the one thing
that can make you stronger.
Change is the only constant
A branch to grab onto,
It is change
which allows you to have
hopes
and
dreams...
for the possibility of
a new day yawning, is only a
sunrise
away.
where hopes and dreams mix
with the everyday ebb and flow
of life.
It is there, where one is most
vulnerable
Easily broken and discarded
or amazingly built up and made
stronger.
Taking steps forward
or
falling back into the darkness.
It doesn't matter how strong
one is...
The pull of one or the other
is always stronger.
Do you get pulled out to sea,
or do you get stuck in an eddy-
constantly moving around
and around and around...
Change is the one thing
that can make you stronger.
Change is the only constant
A branch to grab onto,
It is change
which allows you to have
hopes
and
dreams...
for the possibility of
a new day yawning, is only a
sunrise
away.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Change
When we say things like people don’t change, it drives scientists crazy, because change is literally the only constant in science.
Energy… matter… it’s always changing, morphing, merging, growing, dying.
It’s the way people try not to change, that’s unnatural.
The way we cling to what things were instead of letting them be what they are-
The way we cling to old memories instead of forming new ones-
The way we insist on believing, despite every scientific indication that anything in this lifetime is permanent.
Change is constant.
How we experience change, that’s up to us.
It can feel like death or it can feel like a second chance at life.
If we open our fingers, loosen our grips, go with it… it can feel like pure adrenaline!
Like at any moment, we can have another chance at life.
Like at any moment, we can be born all over again.
~Grey's Anatomy
Energy… matter… it’s always changing, morphing, merging, growing, dying.
It’s the way people try not to change, that’s unnatural.
The way we cling to what things were instead of letting them be what they are-
The way we cling to old memories instead of forming new ones-
The way we insist on believing, despite every scientific indication that anything in this lifetime is permanent.
Change is constant.
How we experience change, that’s up to us.
It can feel like death or it can feel like a second chance at life.
If we open our fingers, loosen our grips, go with it… it can feel like pure adrenaline!
Like at any moment, we can have another chance at life.
Like at any moment, we can be born all over again.
~Grey's Anatomy
Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
There are two days in every week about which we should not worry.
Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.
One of these days is yesterday with its mistakes and cares,
Its faults and blunders, Its aches and pains.
Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday.
We cannot undo a single act we performed.
We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.
The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow.
With its possible adversities, Its burdens,
Its large promise and poor performance.
Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.
Tomorrow's Sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds,
but it will rise.
Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.
This just leaves only one day . . . Today.
Any person can fight the battles of just one day.
It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternity's -
yesterday and tomorrow that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives people mad.
It is the remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday
and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.
Let us therefore live but one day at a time.
~ Author Unknown ~
There are two days in every week about which we should not worry.
Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.
One of these days is yesterday with its mistakes and cares,
Its faults and blunders, Its aches and pains.
Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday.
We cannot undo a single act we performed.
We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.
The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow.
With its possible adversities, Its burdens,
Its large promise and poor performance.
Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.
Tomorrow's Sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds,
but it will rise.
Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.
This just leaves only one day . . . Today.
Any person can fight the battles of just one day.
It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternity's -
yesterday and tomorrow that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives people mad.
It is the remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday
and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.
Let us therefore live but one day at a time.
~ Author Unknown ~
Friday, September 24, 2010
Rekindling the Inner Spirit
"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." - Albert Schweitzer
When The Universe Speaks
I had just gotten off the train this morning, and began to walk a mile to work. As I walked, I took a moment to check my Blackberry. I had one email message waiting for me. When I saw who it was from, my heart leapt a bit in my chest. An old boyfriend - a man who is so good and who has many amazing qualities. I opened the email and began to read. I stopped walking and chills ran up my spine. I looked around. Was I being punked? The email was dated February 27, 2007. Why had it appeared in my email inbox? I began to walk slowly and I read the email. It was about matters of the heart.
I got to work and quickly logged onto the computer. I opened my email and looked in my inbox. The email was not there. Yes, it appeared as new mail on my Blackberry, but not in my email inbox. Weird, right? Better yet, what does it all mean?!?
Here is the email exchange:
February 27, 2007
There's comfort in the tidy little things that are in our lives. Crisp four
sided squares or six faced cubes.....3 inches by 3 inches by 3 inches. A
perfect cube. Our heads like perfect cubes. They stack nicely....take up an
exact amount of space. I can tell you in an instant what it is....3x3x3. A
cube. You can describe it and people know what you're talking about.
The heart is such an aptly rendered shape. I wonder when the heart first
took its valentine's shape...it is so perfect. So as I lay in bed last night,
contemplating your email and matters of the heart, I wondered if I could
describe a heart....a valentine heart. How would you describe it? Its....well about
3 inches high....in total...symmetrically shaped....ah... kind of pointy on
one side and bows out at the top on either side..... its not a 3x3x3 cube. A
heart is beautfiul shape and appropriate shape.
My response:
The NEXT odd thing here, is the fact that my response is nowhere to be found in my email account. I know what I wrote. I wrote that maybe, just maybe the modern-day heart came from the following idea: The human heart is roughly the size and shape of a fist. When you put two fists together, however, you get a rough heart shape. Maybe it's right... maybe love is really meant to be the joining of two hearts, which then forms that heart shape. Alone, you have a fist. You have to find a way to allow your single fist to soften enough, to let down your guard enough, so that it may be joined with that which belongs to another - together forming a heart.
I don't know what the answer is. I didn't know what the answer was in 2007 either. I am wondering why and how I got that email on my Blackberry. I suppose it's time to look deeper and take this as a message from a higher source. And with that in my mind, I am left to spend my day contemplating what it means when the universe speaks...
"It's the song in your heart that wants you to help make yourself a better person, and to help other people do the same. Everybody has one." — The late Mattie Stepanek
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Daniel
Daniel is a lively boy. He's got energy to spare. Sometimes he gets into trouble. I suppose that goes with the territory when you're super inquisitive and a bit mischieveous. The teacher usually has to say his name multiple times each day. Most of the time, she has to say his name because he's not doing what he should be doing or he's goofing off. He's not a bad kid, he just makes poor choices and that's the source of his trouble.
This morning, I was meeting with a colleague of mine. Suddenly, Daniel appeared in the window of the doorway. His face was long and he didn't look happy. He slowly opened the classroom door and dragged his feet as he walked toward the teacher. The teacher instructed him to take a seat. He looked like he was about to cry.
The teacher began to speak:
"Daniel. There are many times when I have to direct you and you do not complete your work. You are not in trouble, sweetheart. I called you in here because when I was looking over yesterday's work, I discovered that you had done it beautifully. I couldn't have done a better job myself!"
Daniel's eyes grew big. A smile slowly spread across his face. He was proud, and it showed. He had earned the teacher's trust and she was recognizing him for a job well done. Watching the whole thing made me feel good inside.
It is students like Daniel who keep me coming back to school each and every September. I have taught many students like Daniel over the past 17 years. Each child is salvageable. Each child is a piece of clay which can be moulded. Sometimes the piece of clay that we are given just needs a little extra love and a little more blood, sweat and tears before it can be transformed. As a teacher, I like to remember that. Daniel was a healthy reminder that my job and my words can either destroy a child, or build him up.
This morning, I was meeting with a colleague of mine. Suddenly, Daniel appeared in the window of the doorway. His face was long and he didn't look happy. He slowly opened the classroom door and dragged his feet as he walked toward the teacher. The teacher instructed him to take a seat. He looked like he was about to cry.
The teacher began to speak:
"Daniel. There are many times when I have to direct you and you do not complete your work. You are not in trouble, sweetheart. I called you in here because when I was looking over yesterday's work, I discovered that you had done it beautifully. I couldn't have done a better job myself!"
Daniel's eyes grew big. A smile slowly spread across his face. He was proud, and it showed. He had earned the teacher's trust and she was recognizing him for a job well done. Watching the whole thing made me feel good inside.
It is students like Daniel who keep me coming back to school each and every September. I have taught many students like Daniel over the past 17 years. Each child is salvageable. Each child is a piece of clay which can be moulded. Sometimes the piece of clay that we are given just needs a little extra love and a little more blood, sweat and tears before it can be transformed. As a teacher, I like to remember that. Daniel was a healthy reminder that my job and my words can either destroy a child, or build him up.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Jahcelyn
Jahcelyn came to school with her hand all bandaged up. At first glance, her hand reminded me of a boxer's hand... all taped up and ready to go. Of course, we were all interested in the source of the injury. Sometimes children tend to exaggerate, thus leading to bigger and better bandages - attention seekers more than actual wound intervention. It took all of about five minutes before my colleague inquired about the bandaged hand.
"Jahcelyn, what happened to your hand?" inquired my colleague.
"I got cut while opening a cat food can." said Jahcelyn.
"Ouch! That must have hurt! Maybe your cat should open his own cans of food from now on." stated my colleague.
"Nah, he can't do that." she replied. "He doesn't have disposable thumbs!"
All of us stood there a little dumbfounded. First of all, she meant opposable thumbs, but if you knew Jahcelyn, you'd really wonder where that came from! There's one valuable lesson to be learned here. Never underestimate the power of learning. She learned "opposable thumbs" from somewhere, and for some reason, she chose to remember it. Not only did she remember it, she used it properly in context. WOW! That's pretty cool!
I love my job! There's never a dull moment... never!
"Jahcelyn, what happened to your hand?" inquired my colleague.
"I got cut while opening a cat food can." said Jahcelyn.
"Ouch! That must have hurt! Maybe your cat should open his own cans of food from now on." stated my colleague.
"Nah, he can't do that." she replied. "He doesn't have disposable thumbs!"
All of us stood there a little dumbfounded. First of all, she meant opposable thumbs, but if you knew Jahcelyn, you'd really wonder where that came from! There's one valuable lesson to be learned here. Never underestimate the power of learning. She learned "opposable thumbs" from somewhere, and for some reason, she chose to remember it. Not only did she remember it, she used it properly in context. WOW! That's pretty cool!
I love my job! There's never a dull moment... never!
An Ocean
An ocean
separates me
from some of the things
that I love the most.
Water.
wet and vast.
It keeps me away from...
My Oma,
mountain air,
wild flowers and hiking
loved one's hugs...
and kisses.
It fills that place-
the space between.
I want to hear the bells~
the voices of churches
tolling to those who have forgotten.
I miss wandering cobblestone streets
taking in the charm of days past-
people greeting me as I walk by.
High up in the Alps, being able to see
as far as visibility allows..
hearing cow bells in the distance
even when
there are no cows to be seen.
Open markets, fresh food,
camaraderie... time spent with others.
Bicycles for young and for old
long walks in the woods
breathing in nothing but fresh air...
I miss it. I miss all of it.
Fields of golden wheat
sunflowers looking up at the sun
all against the bluest skies.
Yes, an ocean
a huge, vast ocean
separates me from some of the things
that I love the most
but lucky for me, they will live on
in my heart,
until we can be reunited
once
again.
separates me
from some of the things
that I love the most.
Water.
wet and vast.
It keeps me away from...
My Oma,
mountain air,
wild flowers and hiking
loved one's hugs...
and kisses.
It fills that place-
the space between.
I want to hear the bells~
the voices of churches
tolling to those who have forgotten.
I miss wandering cobblestone streets
taking in the charm of days past-
people greeting me as I walk by.
High up in the Alps, being able to see
as far as visibility allows..
hearing cow bells in the distance
even when
there are no cows to be seen.
Open markets, fresh food,
camaraderie... time spent with others.
Bicycles for young and for old
long walks in the woods
breathing in nothing but fresh air...
I miss it. I miss all of it.
Fields of golden wheat
sunflowers looking up at the sun
all against the bluest skies.
Yes, an ocean
a huge, vast ocean
separates me from some of the things
that I love the most
but lucky for me, they will live on
in my heart,
until we can be reunited
once
again.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Electronically Suspended
Words
Electronically suspended
in time
and I will speak my mind
into this vast cyberspace
talking
to
myself
talking and sloughing off layers
of who I am
of
Hopes and dreams
likes and dislikes
pieces of my mind
not spoken
not heard.
Parts of my heart cleansed
alive
and opened
Patience being practiced
and so
I wait
Electronically suspended
Electronically suspended
in time
and I will speak my mind
into this vast cyberspace
talking
to
myself
talking and sloughing off layers
of who I am
of
Hopes and dreams
likes and dislikes
pieces of my mind
not spoken
not heard.
Parts of my heart cleansed
alive
and opened
Patience being practiced
and so
I wait
Electronically suspended
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Jesus
Part of being a teacher, is the innocent humor that children bring into my life. I am responsible for covering seven lunch duties a week. They had me covering ten, but I refused... that would be equivalent to me spending 182 hours of my life with 300 screaming children this year. I shudder just thinking about it. Okay, back to Jesus.
I overheard some third graders talking about Jesus at the lunch table. Separation of church and state... that is just the tip of the iceberg, which caused me to tell the students that we could not talk about Jesus at the lunch table - especially since there was a biblethumper sitting at the table, and I had a religious run-in with her mother a few years back.
I began to walk away, and then curiosity got the best of me. What kind of conversation were a bunch of third graders having about Jesus anyway. I grabbed a seat and hunkered down. I started off by asking who had started the Jesus conversaion. All fingers pointed at a male student. I inquired whether or not the others were telling the truth. He nodded yes. Okay, we were making progress. I then proceeded to ask the student what he had said about Jesus - my curiosity had been piqued and it had gotten the best of me. I didn't really expect what followed.
"Jesus is a new kid in our class this year. See him down there at the end of the table?", he began. I turned my attention down to the far end of the lunch table. Yes, I saw Jesus. He was laughing and having fun just like the other fourth graders sitting at the table. "Yes, I see him. Go on" I replied. "Well, you know how Jesus died, right? Well, that Jesus down there... he's, he's reviving himself!" I looked at Jesus and then at the boy. I threw my head back and laughed from the pit of my belly.
Ahhhhhhhh... to be a child again. To think like a child and to just be whoever you are. That is beautiful in and of itself. I love my job. I am fortunate that I have a job which I truly love.
I overheard some third graders talking about Jesus at the lunch table. Separation of church and state... that is just the tip of the iceberg, which caused me to tell the students that we could not talk about Jesus at the lunch table - especially since there was a biblethumper sitting at the table, and I had a religious run-in with her mother a few years back.
I began to walk away, and then curiosity got the best of me. What kind of conversation were a bunch of third graders having about Jesus anyway. I grabbed a seat and hunkered down. I started off by asking who had started the Jesus conversaion. All fingers pointed at a male student. I inquired whether or not the others were telling the truth. He nodded yes. Okay, we were making progress. I then proceeded to ask the student what he had said about Jesus - my curiosity had been piqued and it had gotten the best of me. I didn't really expect what followed.
"Jesus is a new kid in our class this year. See him down there at the end of the table?", he began. I turned my attention down to the far end of the lunch table. Yes, I saw Jesus. He was laughing and having fun just like the other fourth graders sitting at the table. "Yes, I see him. Go on" I replied. "Well, you know how Jesus died, right? Well, that Jesus down there... he's, he's reviving himself!" I looked at Jesus and then at the boy. I threw my head back and laughed from the pit of my belly.
Ahhhhhhhh... to be a child again. To think like a child and to just be whoever you are. That is beautiful in and of itself. I love my job. I am fortunate that I have a job which I truly love.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Grilled Cheese Heartbreak
Grilled Cheese Heartbreak
Angry words spit like hot
butter. Love rescinded. Suddenly unbalanced.
Empty like an overcooked grilled
cheese. Nothing left to savor
but bittersweet love, now lost.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Cerise
Bold and exciting...
forging ahead into new territory
Terrified yet not showing it
finally stretching up to
meet my potential.
It feels so good
to be here...
If you were here, you'd know what I mean.
Cerise is what it is.
New and bold and bright.
Too many people are afraid
to express themselves this way, but not me.
Not any more...
for cerise
is who I am.
If you really know me, this is not news.
You will smile and say, "I'm here. Take my hand.
I need something a little regal today."
You need to see
Cerise... embrace it and feel its energy.
forging ahead into new territory
Terrified yet not showing it
finally stretching up to
meet my potential.
It feels so good
to be here...
If you were here, you'd know what I mean.
Cerise is what it is.
New and bold and bright.
Too many people are afraid
to express themselves this way, but not me.
Not any more...
for cerise
is who I am.
If you really know me, this is not news.
You will smile and say, "I'm here. Take my hand.
I need something a little regal today."
You need to see
Cerise... embrace it and feel its energy.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Indigo
Tossing around the crayons again today.
Feeling mixed up.
I reach in and grab indigo.
That's how I feel today.
Kind of blue...
I'm not really sure why, but I do.
It's not a sharp feeling, but soft -
almost fuzzy like fleece.
Somehow dotted with melancholy
almost forgotten but not really.
As I toss it around
part of me does not know what to do
for indigo is not usually how I feel.
Foreign, in a well known place
not really belonging.
I take indigo and put it back
into the box...
Strategically placed next to yellow.
Hoping to get fern...
For that was the color of the sea grasses
as the morning light danced on them
and made them appear to be softly blended.
Somehow mixed with liquid happiness
That makes indigo a little more palatable.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Strength
When you think you've got me down,
and under your thumb nail, think again.
For I am stronger than that.
I will never forget how I saw a milkweed plant actually grow up through a paved driveway. I was only 4 years old, but for some reason, that image has always remained in the corners of my mind.
That's strength
and determination.
How can it be that something as seemingly small and weak as a plant, can push its way through compacted and hardened macadam?
I am also strong.
Do not underestimate the power of my will or the ability for me to stand strong under pressure.
I will always be like that plant.
I will not give up until the sun is shining on me...
For I,
am stronger
than you know.
and under your thumb nail, think again.
For I am stronger than that.
I will never forget how I saw a milkweed plant actually grow up through a paved driveway. I was only 4 years old, but for some reason, that image has always remained in the corners of my mind.
That's strength
and determination.
How can it be that something as seemingly small and weak as a plant, can push its way through compacted and hardened macadam?
I am also strong.
Do not underestimate the power of my will or the ability for me to stand strong under pressure.
I will always be like that plant.
I will not give up until the sun is shining on me...
For I,
am stronger
than you know.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Blood, Sweat and Tears
Blood, sweat and tears are at the root of everything that I love. They are especially at the root of my job. My ex husband often told me that I poured too much of myself into my job. I disagreed with him, and that's part of the reason why he's my ex!
Six years ago, I was teaching fourth grade. I loved it. The students were witty, smart and eager to learn. I had Mikey in my class. To call him a challenge was an understatement. He was angry, frustrated, defensive and NOT going to make my job an easy one. The game was on. I let him know the rules. I was scared, but I always accept a challenge with open arms. Mikey gave me a workout. I was mentally and physically exhausted. I had to always stay one or two steps ahead of him... anticipating his next move and making sure my next move wasn't my last. The students in my class watched the dance. Some of them were secretly hoping that Mikey would end up turning the tables, and ultimately running the roost.
October crawled around. I was almost dead. I went into the principal's office. "Mary, are you trying to kill me?" She released a hearty laugh and asked me why I would ask her such a thing. "Listen", I said. "I've got one arm and one leg in the coffin. That boy's killing me. If you give me a swift kick in the ass, I'm going to roll right in and the lid's gonna slam down on me. You can just put me in the ground. I don't think I'm going to make it much longer in that classroom!" Mary leaned in close to me. "Sue, I gave Mikey to you because I know you're a strong teacher. You can handle him. Don't give up so easliy... just stick with it." I doubted her, but I kept with it. I plodded along and didn't give up. The days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months.
I loved that boy. Every day I tirelessly gave of myself - my patience, my advice, my sense of humor, discipline, tough love - but most of all, it was love that I gave Mikey. I gave him the kind of love that a mother would give her own child. Love and compassion to heal a boy who was broken at the age of 9. It's really sad, if you take a moment to think of it that way. Even on days when he was angry, rude, relentless and frightening, I loved him.
June rolled around. The tough, defensive boy who had entered my classroom in September was happy and softened. He had a beautiful smile that had replaced a menacing scowl. His voice was soft and rounded and nothing like the gruff and tough street voice that had scared the very core of me 10 months before that. The blood, sweat and tears that we had both poured into our relationship had paid off. A kind and gentle boy stood before me. You might say that I had broken him. That's not a negative thing. He had been wild and unruly. Just a year prior to this point, he had told his classmates that he wished he could cut them up into a million pieces and throw their body parts out of the window. He had turned 180 degrees on his heel and was the opposite of that "other" boy. I was proud, and somewhat sad to set him free and release him into the world, but I did. For I loved him. If you love something, you must let it free... it has to find its place in the world. And so I let him go.
Fast forward 5 years, and the time flew faster than a blink of an eye. I was standing outside the school. I heard my name. I looked around and my sight landed on the biggest smile I had ever seen. I instantly knew that smile. I made my way across the busy street and into his direct line of sight. "Mikey! Wow! I can't believe it's you! What grade are you in now? Which school are you in? Are you cutting class? You look great!" I was gushing and proud and inquisitive and I barely let the boy get a word in edgewise before I fired off another question. Poor thing... He answered all of my questions and seemed surprised that I was still teaching at the same elementary school. For me, I can't imagine being a part of any other family... I've been teaching there for 17 years, and I'm having the time of my life. It seems just like yesterday that I started my career there.
As we talked, I realized that he's still the same soft, beautiful and changed boy. His smile said it all. I felt good inside. "I want to be at your graduation. I want to be your biggest fan. I will cheer you on and embarrass you. I want to be there for you when you make it. Please don't forget to invite me... I will be there!" He smiled again. "You'll be there." he replied. At that moment, so many emotions came back to me. So many memories of how hard it was to bring him around just flooded my mind. I reached out and ruffled his hair with my hand. "Mikey - never forget that I love you. I will always love you. Do the right thing. Stay out of trouble and go to class." "I will", he replied. As I turned on my heel he called out "Ms. C! You always had my back." My heart skipped a beat. I turned slowly and looked him in the eye... "I always will, Mikey. I always will!"
My parting words had been spoken. We had spoken volumes in mere minutes. I reminded him that love can guide you through the darkest times. He reminded me that blood, sweat and tears are worth it. Lives can be changed and lives can be saved... all it takes is faith and perseverence. It is a risky business to love, but Mikey reminded me that love can soften even the toughest skin. He also showed me that until you've imagined yourself in someone elses' shoes, don't even make a judgement. Mikey was just as good for me as I was for him. Who knew that a child could teach me such a valuable life lesson? Mikey was proof. He also reminded me that I do not know the exponential power of my job, and that's a beautiful thing!
Six years ago, I was teaching fourth grade. I loved it. The students were witty, smart and eager to learn. I had Mikey in my class. To call him a challenge was an understatement. He was angry, frustrated, defensive and NOT going to make my job an easy one. The game was on. I let him know the rules. I was scared, but I always accept a challenge with open arms. Mikey gave me a workout. I was mentally and physically exhausted. I had to always stay one or two steps ahead of him... anticipating his next move and making sure my next move wasn't my last. The students in my class watched the dance. Some of them were secretly hoping that Mikey would end up turning the tables, and ultimately running the roost.
October crawled around. I was almost dead. I went into the principal's office. "Mary, are you trying to kill me?" She released a hearty laugh and asked me why I would ask her such a thing. "Listen", I said. "I've got one arm and one leg in the coffin. That boy's killing me. If you give me a swift kick in the ass, I'm going to roll right in and the lid's gonna slam down on me. You can just put me in the ground. I don't think I'm going to make it much longer in that classroom!" Mary leaned in close to me. "Sue, I gave Mikey to you because I know you're a strong teacher. You can handle him. Don't give up so easliy... just stick with it." I doubted her, but I kept with it. I plodded along and didn't give up. The days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months.
I loved that boy. Every day I tirelessly gave of myself - my patience, my advice, my sense of humor, discipline, tough love - but most of all, it was love that I gave Mikey. I gave him the kind of love that a mother would give her own child. Love and compassion to heal a boy who was broken at the age of 9. It's really sad, if you take a moment to think of it that way. Even on days when he was angry, rude, relentless and frightening, I loved him.
June rolled around. The tough, defensive boy who had entered my classroom in September was happy and softened. He had a beautiful smile that had replaced a menacing scowl. His voice was soft and rounded and nothing like the gruff and tough street voice that had scared the very core of me 10 months before that. The blood, sweat and tears that we had both poured into our relationship had paid off. A kind and gentle boy stood before me. You might say that I had broken him. That's not a negative thing. He had been wild and unruly. Just a year prior to this point, he had told his classmates that he wished he could cut them up into a million pieces and throw their body parts out of the window. He had turned 180 degrees on his heel and was the opposite of that "other" boy. I was proud, and somewhat sad to set him free and release him into the world, but I did. For I loved him. If you love something, you must let it free... it has to find its place in the world. And so I let him go.
Fast forward 5 years, and the time flew faster than a blink of an eye. I was standing outside the school. I heard my name. I looked around and my sight landed on the biggest smile I had ever seen. I instantly knew that smile. I made my way across the busy street and into his direct line of sight. "Mikey! Wow! I can't believe it's you! What grade are you in now? Which school are you in? Are you cutting class? You look great!" I was gushing and proud and inquisitive and I barely let the boy get a word in edgewise before I fired off another question. Poor thing... He answered all of my questions and seemed surprised that I was still teaching at the same elementary school. For me, I can't imagine being a part of any other family... I've been teaching there for 17 years, and I'm having the time of my life. It seems just like yesterday that I started my career there.
As we talked, I realized that he's still the same soft, beautiful and changed boy. His smile said it all. I felt good inside. "I want to be at your graduation. I want to be your biggest fan. I will cheer you on and embarrass you. I want to be there for you when you make it. Please don't forget to invite me... I will be there!" He smiled again. "You'll be there." he replied. At that moment, so many emotions came back to me. So many memories of how hard it was to bring him around just flooded my mind. I reached out and ruffled his hair with my hand. "Mikey - never forget that I love you. I will always love you. Do the right thing. Stay out of trouble and go to class." "I will", he replied. As I turned on my heel he called out "Ms. C! You always had my back." My heart skipped a beat. I turned slowly and looked him in the eye... "I always will, Mikey. I always will!"
My parting words had been spoken. We had spoken volumes in mere minutes. I reminded him that love can guide you through the darkest times. He reminded me that blood, sweat and tears are worth it. Lives can be changed and lives can be saved... all it takes is faith and perseverence. It is a risky business to love, but Mikey reminded me that love can soften even the toughest skin. He also showed me that until you've imagined yourself in someone elses' shoes, don't even make a judgement. Mikey was just as good for me as I was for him. Who knew that a child could teach me such a valuable life lesson? Mikey was proof. He also reminded me that I do not know the exponential power of my job, and that's a beautiful thing!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Stacked and Balanced
Look deeper.
Slow down.
Listen.
I like it when things are stacked and balanced.
Lately I have NOT been balanced.
The scales have been tipped...
and not in my favor, either!
Off balance-
Rushing
Frustrated
Angry
Falling apart.
Look deeper.
Slow down.
Listen.
Peace and balance are there
It's just a matter of perspective
and patience
and peace.
Letting go of that
which
I cannot control.
Letting the balance
creep
back into the cracks
and crevices
of
my
life.
When I least expected it
a sign
that balance
is
everywhere.
Look deeper.
Slow down.
Listen.
Let it wash over me
Like the waters
that have
shaped
and
rounded
and
softened
these stones.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Learning to Fly
He who would learn to fly one day must learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying.
~ Friedrich Nietzsche
Recently, a friend of mine sent me a text message with a photo of several young robins in a nest. "I thought you might like this" read the text. Instantly, a smile spread across my face. Those who know me, know me well. A few days passed and I visited the nest. The chicks' eyes had already opened. How quickly they were growing... I returned a few days later and was shocked when I saw them. They were almost ready to leave the nest. All four of them were crowed into the tiny nest - it almost looked as if they didn't belong there! I predicted that they would fly on Wednesday, and they ended up flying on Tuesday. I'm sure there was some sort of flying learning curve. You know - emeregency landing, getting to know how the whole flying thing worked. I wish I had been there to witness just how the mother robin handled pushing her chicks into the world... how she convinced them that leaving the safety and comfort of the nest was a good thing. Did she push them or merely encourage them? Did she sit on a neighboring branch and coach them into taking that first leap of faith? I can't imagine being a bird. What a huge leap of faith... flapping your wings for the first time and realizing that you either get it right on the first run, or you're in for a frightening fall through branches and leaves until you hit the ground! The nest is now empty, and the flight activity to and from the nest has ceased. The neighborhood has four new residents... feathered friends. 
As for humans, we have to learn how to roll over, crawl, cautiously take a few steps, walk and eventually run. We fly into new experiences only after taking the first steps which are required to get you to that point. Some people are content with never leaving the nest, and that's okay. Others try out for every adventure that they encounter, and that leads to plenty of trial and error... crashing and burning... spending plenty of time mending broken wings and bent tail feathers. The majority of us tend to venture into flight when we feel that the time is right. We get some gentle coaching from friends and from family members, but that first step into the unknown has to ultimately be taken by no one but ourselves. There is a learning curve, and sometimes experiences lead to bruised bodies and bruised egos - both of which can mend and teach valuable life lessons. It is important to garner knowledge from each flight. Notice, reflect, apply... enrich your life not just by merely existing, but by always striving to be a better person. Make small changes - they may feel foreign or uncomfortable at first, but before long, the small changes will spread out into your world like ripples from the epicenter of a rock when it hits the surface of the water - starting out small and getting bigger and bigger as they move out from the heart of their journey. May you learn not only to fly, but also to soar.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
From Passage to India
Sail forth - steer for the deep waters only,
Reckless O soul, exploring, I with thee,
and thou with me,
For we are bound where mariner has not yet
dared to go,
And we will risk the ship, ourselves and all.
O my brave soul!
O farther farther sail!
O daring joy, but safe! are they not all the
seas of God?
~Walt Whitman
On Loving That Which is Not Yet Tame
"What does that mean - 'tame'?"
asked the little prince
"It means to establish ties.
One only understands things that one tames.
Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made up at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends anymore. If you want a friend, tame me.."
said the fox.
"What must I do to tame you?" asked the little price.
"You must be very patient," replied the fox. "First you will sit down at a little distance from me - like that - in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day..."
Exerpt taken from
~ The Little Prince by Antoine De Saint-Exupery
And so it was with the girl and her swans.
Each morning, as the dawn of a new day yawned
at the mouth of the river
right at
the very point
where the river spilled into Long Island Sound.
The girl was there to greet all that was good.
The sun and the scent of the marsh
the ebb and the flow of the water
as it breathed like the rest of us.
She also greeted the swans.
They danced in the
shadow
and in the
light
of each new day.
Others cautioned her to let them be.
She did not listen
she only loved the two even more.
The dance continued
day in
and
day out.
Each day, she got a little closer
Before long,
they knew her voice
and she could tell the two
apart from one another.
Then one day
in a gesture of trust,
he ate from her hand
and the taming
had begun.
It was not only the taming
of the beautiful creature
known as a swan.
It was also
the taming
of her heart.
When the cygnets came in the springtime
they too learned that trust
was a good thing.
It's Nice
It's nice to have a week off... to spend time cycling and getting out in the fresh air. It is wonderful to be able to explore trails - hunting for arrowheads, salamanders and other outdoor treasures. My mom was visiting recently, and I don't get to see her as often as I'd like. We talk almost every day, but that's not the same as having her here.
One night during her visit, as I was giving my mom a hug and a kiss goodnight, I realized that I really had to bend in order to kiss her. I stood up and looked at her. All of a sudden, she seemed almost, well, almost tiny!
"Mom. Are you shrinking?" I asked. I looked at her again. Yes, she seemed shorter. I don't know how that could be possible, but she really did seem shorter. She looked at me and laughed. "Yes, I'm shrinking. I've already lost 2 1/2 inches." I stared at her in disbelief and then chuckled. It was nice having her here, and spending moments like that one with her.
One night during her visit, as I was giving my mom a hug and a kiss goodnight, I realized that I really had to bend in order to kiss her. I stood up and looked at her. All of a sudden, she seemed almost, well, almost tiny!
"Mom. Are you shrinking?" I asked. I looked at her again. Yes, she seemed shorter. I don't know how that could be possible, but she really did seem shorter. She looked at me and laughed. "Yes, I'm shrinking. I've already lost 2 1/2 inches." I stared at her in disbelief and then chuckled. It was nice having her here, and spending moments like that one with her.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Clarity
Sometimes that which is off in a distance
is so clear
While the foreground is slightly
out
of
focus
How can that be?
Is that even balanced?
Well,
maybe it is balanced-
Especially if the goal is so clear.
Life is about knowing
when to look ahead
trusting that the clarity
is really your truth-
NOT in worrying
that
it
is merely
a mirage.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Delinquent
I have been delinquent, absent and neglectful when it comes to keeping up my blogspot. Yes, life has run away with me. Some parts have been awful while other parts have been wonderful. Let's just leave it at that. It is what it is. I am promising to return. Right now, at this moment, I'm going out with my camera in hand... looking for some beauty. I know I'll find it... I always do. So for this moment, you will have to be patient. No, all of the patients aren't in the hospital... you will have to practice patience. I will return with stories to tell and photos to share. You know that you're dealing with me, and that's the way I roll. Until later, my friends.
Your delinquent friend,
Susan (aka: Siouxsie)
Your delinquent friend,
Susan (aka: Siouxsie)
Friday, April 16, 2010
On Black
There's something,
just something so beautiful
about light
and nature...
How they mingle
and
play together
Making beautiful images
against black
turning
empty
into anything
but
just plain old darkness
Instead,
using it to accent
nature's delicate details.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Friendships
I don't really know how it happens. I suppose it begins with an acknowledgement of some sort. Perhaps a nod or a smile or an email. Then maybe it graduates to a wave or an introduction or a conversation. Before long, it becomes personalized. You have a name to go along with the face and you end up greeting one another on a personal basis each time your paths cross. This is how friendships are born and nurtured and that is how they develop.
Have you ever gotten to the point where you can no longer really remember how or when you met that person, but you're just happy that you did? Have you ever sifted through your memory - realizing that you are so lucky to have such amazing friends? Even when time may have kept you apart... even for many years, all it takes is a hug and a smile to wash away the separation - it's just like yesterday and you are five all over again.
I got an email from a dear friend of mine. He just had an operation on his arm, and he's bandaged from his pit to his palm. He's all hopped up on meds, 'cause the pain's intense. He took the time to type (single handed) a response to an email that I had sent him. That's friendship. He's making sure that time doesn't cause a wedge between us. Geography separates us, but that's about it.
Today, I got enthusiastic waves and shouts (across a very busy thoroughfare) from some people who greet me every day. It was nice to see that even a busy road could not interrupt our daily routine. Even thinking about it makes me smile. What a pleasant exchange to have on a daily basis!
Whether it's a call or a text message or just a note to say "Hey, I'm thinking about you today!" It's nice to know that you've got a friend. It's even nicer to know that your friends have your back and you have theirs. Friendships are out there. They are waiting to be cultivated and grown. Sometimes you may have to take the first step in growing a friendship, and sometimes it's the other way around. Either way, when friendship blooms, it's like Spring in you heart. It's nice to have a feeling like that over and over again.
Have you ever gotten to the point where you can no longer really remember how or when you met that person, but you're just happy that you did? Have you ever sifted through your memory - realizing that you are so lucky to have such amazing friends? Even when time may have kept you apart... even for many years, all it takes is a hug and a smile to wash away the separation - it's just like yesterday and you are five all over again.
I got an email from a dear friend of mine. He just had an operation on his arm, and he's bandaged from his pit to his palm. He's all hopped up on meds, 'cause the pain's intense. He took the time to type (single handed) a response to an email that I had sent him. That's friendship. He's making sure that time doesn't cause a wedge between us. Geography separates us, but that's about it.
Today, I got enthusiastic waves and shouts (across a very busy thoroughfare) from some people who greet me every day. It was nice to see that even a busy road could not interrupt our daily routine. Even thinking about it makes me smile. What a pleasant exchange to have on a daily basis!
Whether it's a call or a text message or just a note to say "Hey, I'm thinking about you today!" It's nice to know that you've got a friend. It's even nicer to know that your friends have your back and you have theirs. Friendships are out there. They are waiting to be cultivated and grown. Sometimes you may have to take the first step in growing a friendship, and sometimes it's the other way around. Either way, when friendship blooms, it's like Spring in you heart. It's nice to have a feeling like that over and over again.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
On Fiddleheads and Ferns
Shortly after my divorce, a very dear friend of mine asked me a seemingly unimportant question (I just asked him how the question went so that I could be accurate in my blog, and although neither of us can exactly remember the wording, here’s the gist). He asked me about crayons. The thought was that people are like crayons. Some people might fit nicely in a Crayola 8 or 24 pack, while others are an odd hue that can only be found in a Crayola-64 pack. He wanted to know out of all of the Crayola colors, which color I saw as a representation of myself… a tough question. I knew that a crayon from the 8, 16 or 24 pack could never begin to represent me… I scanned my box of 64. I read the names, and I thought carefully about my choice. After great consideration, I settled on the periwinkle crayon. I chose it because it reminded me of the delicate flowers on a myrtle plant, the purple hue seen on mountains as the sun is setting, the name of those cute little snails found in tidal pools… nice sentiments – and an okay answer for who I was then.
Months later, I asked myself that very same question… which color do I see as a representation of who I am? I knew in my heart and in my head that periwinkle just didn’t cut it any longer. I got my box of crayons out again (minus periwinkle and burnt sienna - that's a whole other blog entry!)… searching through the box I drew out the fern green crayon. Yes, fern green…
Fern Green
A blanket of snow lies over the land
Cold and ice temporarily suppress new life
Way beneath the frozen earth
A tiny little coil of life awaits rebirth
Winter gives way to spring
As the last traces of snow disappear
It is time for the earth to wake up once more
The winter slumber is over- new life awaits
The sun is warm upon the land
Soil slightly pushing up
A hint that there is something happening
That which is not immediately apparent to the eye
A few days pass
The fiddlehead pushes up into the light
Coiled up like a closed fist
Head tucked into her body
More time passes
The coil loosens
Stretching, unfolding, growing
Letting go of what was –
Becoming something new
Unfolding leaves with each new day
Finally open
Rebirth… renewal… ready to live again
Ferns in general, are interesting plants. In the springtime, the fern starts out as a tiny, coiled up fiddlehead, called this because they look like the head of a fiddle. The tiny coil begins to unfold itself and it stretches itself back toward the sky. I have always enjoyed watching the fern plant as it experiences its rebirth in the spring. Fern green… sometimes the cat's eyes are this color along with frog's skin, a dragonfly's streamlined body, a praying mantis, prairie grass... I like to look at my new life as if I am a fiddlehead, all curled up and new, stretching and unfolding, slowly, with purpose- starting out small and seemingly unimportant, until I have opened up and become everything that I am supposed to be.
Hugs!
-Susan
Friday, April 9, 2010
Rain
It was 4 am,
she was unable to sleep
restless,
she got up out of the bed.
Spring peepers called
outside her window.
And she thought about
those things she missed.
Looking toward the horizon
A faint glow of soft rose.
The sun cast an erie foreglow
like a fortune teller's
crystal ball...
"Red skies in morning,
sailors take warning!"
She used the bathroom
and climbed back into her bed.
She listened
as she had so many times before,
And then they came-
down from the sky
like big, hot,
crocodile tears.
Slowly falling,
intermittently
heavy and deliberate.
Rain.
Big, huge drops of rain.
As they fell,
she had the urge to stay...
in the bed
But she knew that the day
would not wait for her
to do so.
For there was a
new day yawning.
she was unable to sleep
restless,
she got up out of the bed.
Spring peepers called
outside her window.
And she thought about
those things she missed.
Looking toward the horizon
A faint glow of soft rose.
The sun cast an erie foreglow
like a fortune teller's
crystal ball...
"Red skies in morning,
sailors take warning!"
She used the bathroom
and climbed back into her bed.
She listened
as she had so many times before,
And then they came-
down from the sky
like big, hot,
crocodile tears.
Slowly falling,
intermittently
heavy and deliberate.
Rain.
Big, huge drops of rain.
As they fell,
she had the urge to stay...
in the bed
But she knew that the day
would not wait for her
to do so.
For there was a
new day yawning.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Eggs
This year, I made only a handful of eggs. Things were so busy around here that I didn't have too much time to fiddle around with my art. I made 6 eggs and gave 5 away. I have one more design laid out, but that egg has a new owner in my mind already. It's funny... I generally think of a specific person when I begin to design an egg, and as I work on that egg, I think about that person a lot. I get a lot of satisfaction out of designing and giving away my art. I'm usually so excited to give my work away, that I forget to photograph it.
My eggs are actually living in some interesting places! I've got one in South Africa, a few in Germany, one in Canada and many all around the US. It gives me great pleasure to know that people enjoy my artwork. That being said, I will continue to create and gift - enjoying giving a gift from my heart.
Happy Easter, Happy Spring!
Friday, April 2, 2010
Life's Litmus Lozenges
I had previously posted this blog at my former blogging place, but it still remains a favorite of mine. Life is full of Litmus Lozenge moments. The sorrow finds its way in, and that's not necessarily a bad thing, it just IS. During those moments, you should take a moment to reflect on why things are drawing those emotions to the surface. Don't stuff them deep down inside, cry a few tears and know that it's a good thing.
Kate DiCamillo is one of my favorite children's authors. She wrote a book called Because of Winn Dixie. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. One key element in the book is the "Litmus Lozenge," a type of hard candy invented by a Civil War veteran who decided that the world was a sorry affair and that it had enough ugly things in it. He was going to concentrate on putting something sweet in that upside-down world. He found a way to mix the sweetness and sorrow. It's described as having a "melancholy" taste. This veteran found a way to survive after losing everything he loved.
"I ate my Litmus Lozenge slow. It tasted good. It tasted like root beer and strawberry and something else I didn't have a name for, something that made me feel kind of sad." said Opal India Buloni, the main character of the book. You may wonder where I'm trying to go. Let me continue.
When I read this book, and finally saw the movie, the talk of the Litmus Lozenge didn't mean much to me. I knew of happy things and I knew of sad things, but a piece of candy had never made me sad.
Two Saturdays ago, I was driving the girls somewhere. The Halloween candy had already been snuck into, and as I drove, I unwrapped one of those mini Paydays. I've never been a huge fan of peanuts on my candy bars, but as I've gotten older, I suppose the area where salty meets sweet has gotten smaller and smaller to the point where they overlap from time to time. I opened the plastic and took a bite - being careful not to scatter the salty peanuts as I bit into the bar. Something weird happened at that moment.
As I chewed, this feeling of sorrow washed over me. The salty peanuts mixed with the sweetness of the caramel brought me back to a time that I can never get back. It brought me back to the age of innocence... when I was a child. I had a newspaper route and I would haul newspapers seven days a week. I delivered to neighbors and to friends.
William Montgomery Vaughn was a customer on my route. He was a grouchy curmudgeon. Nothing I could say or do was ever good enough. I always delivered the newspaper the wrong way. If the phone rang when I was done with my route, I knew it was him calling, and I knew that I had failed him, yet again! Oh, how I used to cringe when he called!
His usual M.O. consisted of using a clothes pin to "pin" a note or his payment to his mailbox. He kept the conversation to a minimum and would only have a sign that read "Sue, please ring bell" if I had done something "wrong". One Halloween, there was one such "Sue, please ring bell" notes on the mailbox. I sighed rather loudly.
I slowly rolled my eyes around in my head, reached up and rang the bell and exhaled slowly and loudly. I waited. I could hear him shouting that he was "coming! I'M Coming. I'll BE RIGHT THERE... don't leave!" Duh! Where was I going? I'd have to wait for him. If I didn't, his phone call would make it home before I did, and my mother would turn me right around and send me immediately back.
The door opened just a crack and he thrust a small box of chocolates with a bright, orange envelope taped to it. "GO ON! Get out of here now. Stop looking at me like that. Good bye!" and with that he quickly shut the door. I stood there kind of dumbfounded and surely not quite sure of what had just happened. It was Halloween and he had taken the time to get me a theater style box of Fifth Avenue bars and a Halloween card. He had signed the card WV, which was his signature closure. I smiled as I walked away. He really did care. He just didn't know how to be one hundred percent human about it.
That ice-breaking moment was the point of the great thaw for us. We struck up an amazing friendship that lasted a handful of years until his death. I took WV's death hard. He was so fragile, but had tried to stay like a block of granite for the 10 years that had followed his wife's tragic death. He needed people, but was afraid of losing them. He was sort of a young bully in an old body. We shared many conversations together and my mother always sent hot meals to his house on the holidays. We always invited him over, but his pride stood in the way. Eating my mother's delicious meals, alone, was okay for him.
As I bit into that Payday bar, it was like eating a Litmus Lozenge for me. I thought of William Montgomery Vaughn and his fragility. His pride had caused him the pain of loneliness. The salty peanuts made me think of his Fifth Avenue bars and as I wiped my tears away as I drove, I finally understood how something could be sweet and sad and all kinds of melancholy all at one time. I could taste the sorrow of a friendship that had been wonderful for both of us. I could taste the sorrow of missing someone that I really cared about... even after 18 solid years. It wasn't just about feeling sad, it was tasting sorrow.
That moment faded and my daughters were worried about my tears. I assured them that they were happy tears and I tried to explain what had happened. I don't think they really got it. I'm not sure if this blog will even make sense, but I hope that those of you who read it, will get the chance to taste life's Litmus Lozenges just once in this lifetime.
Kate DiCamillo is one of my favorite children's authors. She wrote a book called Because of Winn Dixie. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. One key element in the book is the "Litmus Lozenge," a type of hard candy invented by a Civil War veteran who decided that the world was a sorry affair and that it had enough ugly things in it. He was going to concentrate on putting something sweet in that upside-down world. He found a way to mix the sweetness and sorrow. It's described as having a "melancholy" taste. This veteran found a way to survive after losing everything he loved.
"I ate my Litmus Lozenge slow. It tasted good. It tasted like root beer and strawberry and something else I didn't have a name for, something that made me feel kind of sad." said Opal India Buloni, the main character of the book. You may wonder where I'm trying to go. Let me continue.
When I read this book, and finally saw the movie, the talk of the Litmus Lozenge didn't mean much to me. I knew of happy things and I knew of sad things, but a piece of candy had never made me sad.
Two Saturdays ago, I was driving the girls somewhere. The Halloween candy had already been snuck into, and as I drove, I unwrapped one of those mini Paydays. I've never been a huge fan of peanuts on my candy bars, but as I've gotten older, I suppose the area where salty meets sweet has gotten smaller and smaller to the point where they overlap from time to time. I opened the plastic and took a bite - being careful not to scatter the salty peanuts as I bit into the bar. Something weird happened at that moment.
As I chewed, this feeling of sorrow washed over me. The salty peanuts mixed with the sweetness of the caramel brought me back to a time that I can never get back. It brought me back to the age of innocence... when I was a child. I had a newspaper route and I would haul newspapers seven days a week. I delivered to neighbors and to friends.
William Montgomery Vaughn was a customer on my route. He was a grouchy curmudgeon. Nothing I could say or do was ever good enough. I always delivered the newspaper the wrong way. If the phone rang when I was done with my route, I knew it was him calling, and I knew that I had failed him, yet again! Oh, how I used to cringe when he called!
His usual M.O. consisted of using a clothes pin to "pin" a note or his payment to his mailbox. He kept the conversation to a minimum and would only have a sign that read "Sue, please ring bell" if I had done something "wrong". One Halloween, there was one such "Sue, please ring bell" notes on the mailbox. I sighed rather loudly.
I slowly rolled my eyes around in my head, reached up and rang the bell and exhaled slowly and loudly. I waited. I could hear him shouting that he was "coming! I'M Coming. I'll BE RIGHT THERE... don't leave!" Duh! Where was I going? I'd have to wait for him. If I didn't, his phone call would make it home before I did, and my mother would turn me right around and send me immediately back.
The door opened just a crack and he thrust a small box of chocolates with a bright, orange envelope taped to it. "GO ON! Get out of here now. Stop looking at me like that. Good bye!" and with that he quickly shut the door. I stood there kind of dumbfounded and surely not quite sure of what had just happened. It was Halloween and he had taken the time to get me a theater style box of Fifth Avenue bars and a Halloween card. He had signed the card WV, which was his signature closure. I smiled as I walked away. He really did care. He just didn't know how to be one hundred percent human about it.
That ice-breaking moment was the point of the great thaw for us. We struck up an amazing friendship that lasted a handful of years until his death. I took WV's death hard. He was so fragile, but had tried to stay like a block of granite for the 10 years that had followed his wife's tragic death. He needed people, but was afraid of losing them. He was sort of a young bully in an old body. We shared many conversations together and my mother always sent hot meals to his house on the holidays. We always invited him over, but his pride stood in the way. Eating my mother's delicious meals, alone, was okay for him.
As I bit into that Payday bar, it was like eating a Litmus Lozenge for me. I thought of William Montgomery Vaughn and his fragility. His pride had caused him the pain of loneliness. The salty peanuts made me think of his Fifth Avenue bars and as I wiped my tears away as I drove, I finally understood how something could be sweet and sad and all kinds of melancholy all at one time. I could taste the sorrow of a friendship that had been wonderful for both of us. I could taste the sorrow of missing someone that I really cared about... even after 18 solid years. It wasn't just about feeling sad, it was tasting sorrow.
That moment faded and my daughters were worried about my tears. I assured them that they were happy tears and I tried to explain what had happened. I don't think they really got it. I'm not sure if this blog will even make sense, but I hope that those of you who read it, will get the chance to taste life's Litmus Lozenges just once in this lifetime.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
The April Fool's Bad Luck
Today is April 1st, and the traditional April Fools Day shenannigans have not begun yet, but I know they will. Afterall, I work in a school, and tricks are bound to occur - children are always looking for a chance to trick an unsuspecting classmate or even better yet, a teacher. Gotta love the little buggers for that...
My fourth grader's had just finished an invigorating lab in which they explored parallel circuits as well as conductors and insulators. I gave each child one jelly bean for doing such a great job. Donye wasn't happy with one jelly bean. The rest of the students were quietly savoring this little taste of spring. "That's what we get? One? One jelly bean?" I tried not to listen to her complaints.
All of a sudden, almost as if by magic, her jelly bean fell onto the floor. The next thing I heard was "It fell on the floor... my jelly bean. It fell on the floor. I can't eat it now!" she cried. Wait a minute. Stop the world, I want to get off. Did she just say she can't eat it now?!? She had just been complaining about one - than one was not enough. She should have just eaten it and been quiet like the rest of the class. At that moment, Manuel piped up "Well, that's the April Fool's bad luck!" Donye made a funny face and I began to laugh.
"Manuel's right, Donye. That's the April Fool's bad luck. When you act like a fool, sometimes there's a sign from the Universe that maybe, just maybe you had better cut it out." I handed her a new jelly bean. She thanked me and quickly popped it into her mouth. How apropos for April Fool's Day... that the April Fool would learn a little lesson, and actually really understand it for once.
My fourth grader's had just finished an invigorating lab in which they explored parallel circuits as well as conductors and insulators. I gave each child one jelly bean for doing such a great job. Donye wasn't happy with one jelly bean. The rest of the students were quietly savoring this little taste of spring. "That's what we get? One? One jelly bean?" I tried not to listen to her complaints.
All of a sudden, almost as if by magic, her jelly bean fell onto the floor. The next thing I heard was "It fell on the floor... my jelly bean. It fell on the floor. I can't eat it now!" she cried. Wait a minute. Stop the world, I want to get off. Did she just say she can't eat it now?!? She had just been complaining about one - than one was not enough. She should have just eaten it and been quiet like the rest of the class. At that moment, Manuel piped up "Well, that's the April Fool's bad luck!" Donye made a funny face and I began to laugh.
"Manuel's right, Donye. That's the April Fool's bad luck. When you act like a fool, sometimes there's a sign from the Universe that maybe, just maybe you had better cut it out." I handed her a new jelly bean. She thanked me and quickly popped it into her mouth. How apropos for April Fool's Day... that the April Fool would learn a little lesson, and actually really understand it for once.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Eureka!
Overheard in class today:
"This was the best science experiment... EVER!"
and as a smile spread across my face, I thought to myself, there it is... validation. Can a test ever capture that kind of a validation. No. Will that child forever remember that cool chemical reaction which produced technicolor goo, which is now in a baggie ready to go home with him? Yup!
'Nuff said. Because you know if I don't step down from this soap box now, I may never want to. Beside that, there are two sinks full of dishes to be washed, and tables that need cleaning as well.
All in the life of a teacher... absolutely well worth every ounce of effort!
"This was the best science experiment... EVER!"
and as a smile spread across my face, I thought to myself, there it is... validation. Can a test ever capture that kind of a validation. No. Will that child forever remember that cool chemical reaction which produced technicolor goo, which is now in a baggie ready to go home with him? Yup!
'Nuff said. Because you know if I don't step down from this soap box now, I may never want to. Beside that, there are two sinks full of dishes to be washed, and tables that need cleaning as well.
All in the life of a teacher... absolutely well worth every ounce of effort!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
After Today, My Name Might Be Mud
Yes, you heard me right. After today, my name might be Mud. Which would be quite apropos, since we've had nothing but rain (and crazy, heavy, driving rain at that) for the last three days. Some school districts even cancelled school today due to the fact that the rivers are so overfull, flood plains are bursting at the seams, and flood levels are at near-record setting heights. Part of it has to do with the fact that the ground is already super-saturated from all the rain we've been getting (and I surely hope that the universe is getting MOST of the rain out its system BEFORE the summer gets here) and the other part has to do with the fact that we are under the influence of the full moon.
Yes, my name is probably Mud.
The third graders conducted an experiment today. They combined glue (a liquid) with soap powder (a solid) and water (another liquid). We added food coloring for effect. The product: this cooooool, squishy, gushy, wiggily, jiggly flubber-like substance. A chemical change took place creating a new material. Really cool... until the kids started to move around the room (innocently) in order to show one another their technicolor goo. Bits and pieces got ALL OVER the place.
I really have no one to blame but myself. You'd think that after 17 years of teaching, and probably 17 years of making this "Magic Mud" (yes, that's a name that I coined myself, and once again, it's apropos), that I would have, well, laid down some ground rules. Nah... these were third graders. They could handle it. Right?!? Wrong!
The fact of the matter is, I didn't really care. They loved the experience. They had so much fun and they learned a lot as well. You should have seen the looks on their faces when I told them they could TAKE IT HOME! It was almost better than winning the lottery, but that's why I do what I do. After almost an hour of non-stop activity - a flurry of measuring, stirring, mixing, playing, sometimes spilling and in one case almost puking, it was time to clean up. But by that point, there was very little time left at all. I collected all 75 pieces of plastic mixing and measuring aparatus (which was now dirty) and all 50 popcicle sticks (hey, I'm frugal), and proceeded to wash it all.
Every once in a while, I would stop to think about the possibility of that magic mud clogging up the sink, but I always tried to flush those thoughts from my mind. Surely, it wouldn't be the first time that my classroom antics had clogged a school sink, but the custodial reaction to such things is never a pleasant one - especially if it involves them actually doing work!
I looked around the room. It looked as if a cyclone had hit. I began to clean and wash and clean some more. I only hoped that I wasn't slowly clogging the drain up. I continued to wash. Phew. I had finally gotten most of the dishes washed. I surveyed the room. There was technicolor goo on the tables and on the floor. It looked like the Easter Bunny had puked all over the place. I begged my way out of lunch duty (and on a full moon day, getting out of it is a gift!). I went down to the custodial office and raised a few eyebrows when I asked for a putty knife. "You know... a scraper. I need to scrape some glue off of the tables (and floor, I thought)." I returned to the classroom. Scraper in hand. I got out a rag and some Fantastik OxyPower (the custodians love me, as I do most of my own cleaning) and started cleaning and scraping the tables and the floor. Before long, I was done. Tired, but done.
As I surveyed the room, I realized that I would be experincing Groundhog Day tomorrow and Thursday. Ain't teaching great? Yes it is... mud and all!
Yes, my name is probably Mud.
The third graders conducted an experiment today. They combined glue (a liquid) with soap powder (a solid) and water (another liquid). We added food coloring for effect. The product: this cooooool, squishy, gushy, wiggily, jiggly flubber-like substance. A chemical change took place creating a new material. Really cool... until the kids started to move around the room (innocently) in order to show one another their technicolor goo. Bits and pieces got ALL OVER the place.
I really have no one to blame but myself. You'd think that after 17 years of teaching, and probably 17 years of making this "Magic Mud" (yes, that's a name that I coined myself, and once again, it's apropos), that I would have, well, laid down some ground rules. Nah... these were third graders. They could handle it. Right?!? Wrong!
The fact of the matter is, I didn't really care. They loved the experience. They had so much fun and they learned a lot as well. You should have seen the looks on their faces when I told them they could TAKE IT HOME! It was almost better than winning the lottery, but that's why I do what I do. After almost an hour of non-stop activity - a flurry of measuring, stirring, mixing, playing, sometimes spilling and in one case almost puking, it was time to clean up. But by that point, there was very little time left at all. I collected all 75 pieces of plastic mixing and measuring aparatus (which was now dirty) and all 50 popcicle sticks (hey, I'm frugal), and proceeded to wash it all.
Every once in a while, I would stop to think about the possibility of that magic mud clogging up the sink, but I always tried to flush those thoughts from my mind. Surely, it wouldn't be the first time that my classroom antics had clogged a school sink, but the custodial reaction to such things is never a pleasant one - especially if it involves them actually doing work!
I looked around the room. It looked as if a cyclone had hit. I began to clean and wash and clean some more. I only hoped that I wasn't slowly clogging the drain up. I continued to wash. Phew. I had finally gotten most of the dishes washed. I surveyed the room. There was technicolor goo on the tables and on the floor. It looked like the Easter Bunny had puked all over the place. I begged my way out of lunch duty (and on a full moon day, getting out of it is a gift!). I went down to the custodial office and raised a few eyebrows when I asked for a putty knife. "You know... a scraper. I need to scrape some glue off of the tables (and floor, I thought)." I returned to the classroom. Scraper in hand. I got out a rag and some Fantastik OxyPower (the custodians love me, as I do most of my own cleaning) and started cleaning and scraping the tables and the floor. Before long, I was done. Tired, but done.
As I surveyed the room, I realized that I would be experincing Groundhog Day tomorrow and Thursday. Ain't teaching great? Yes it is... mud and all!
Monday, March 29, 2010
A Little About Me~
Passionate, stubborn, giving…
Sarcastic, funny, fun-loving
Driven, loving, balanced…
Friendly, inquisitive, outgoing,
I've been told that I'm feisty
Sometimes crazy…
Seeking to be flexible, like the willow branch.
Weathering the toughest storms
because it knows when to bend,
yet how to remain strong in the face
of even the strongest challenges.
I'm an educator by trade, and I'm forever
wanting to know why and how and what…
I suppose I can be exhausting at times -
those who know me would tell you that's true.
I get excited about watching a bunch of ants
as they carry a worm down the sidewalk…
or having a swan eat a cracker out of the palm
of my hand.
I am a big child at heart, and I still use crayons.
Won't you get your crayons out and color with me?!?
“By the Sea” by Joan Anderson:
I must live a little each day, greet the sun as it rises and revel in its setting, swim naked, sip coffee and wine by the shore, generate new ideas, admire myself, talk to animals, meditate, laugh, risk adventures. I must try to be soft, not hard; fluid not rigid, tender, not cold; find rather than seek. I have been embraced by the sea, tested by its elements, emptied of anxiety, cleansed with fresh thought. In the process, I have recovered myself.”
What a nice collection of thoughts…
a way to be.
Won't you join me as I grow and learn and live?
Thanks to all of you who have given so freely of yourselves…
This clip of Paul McCartney singing Little Willow has really touched me…
a gentle reminder to be flexible during the seasons of life.
“Sleep little willow
Peace gonna follow
Time will heal your wounds
Grow to the heavens
Now and forever
Always came too soon.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvRoV_Mj0pA
Mr. Edward Magorium:
No. We breathe. We pulse. We regenerate. Our hearts beat. Our minds create. Our souls ingest. 37 seconds, well used, is a lifetime. Your life is an occasion, rise to it.
Such wise words… There's no moment like the present one.
“And we must face tomorrow, whatever it may hold, with determination, joy and bravery.”
~Mr. Magorium
A warrior doesn't give up what he loves…
he finds the love in what he does. ~Socrates
“You are like a butterfly… a caterpillar's dream to fly. You bust out of this old cocoon and dry your wings off. Butterfly… go ahead and fly.” ~ Kate DiCamillo, Because of Winn-Dixie
Sarcastic, funny, fun-loving
Driven, loving, balanced…
Friendly, inquisitive, outgoing,
I've been told that I'm feisty
Sometimes crazy…
Seeking to be flexible, like the willow branch.
Weathering the toughest storms
because it knows when to bend,
yet how to remain strong in the face
of even the strongest challenges.
I'm an educator by trade, and I'm forever
wanting to know why and how and what…
I suppose I can be exhausting at times -
those who know me would tell you that's true.
I get excited about watching a bunch of ants
as they carry a worm down the sidewalk…
or having a swan eat a cracker out of the palm
of my hand.
I am a big child at heart, and I still use crayons.
Won't you get your crayons out and color with me?!?
“By the Sea” by Joan Anderson:
I must live a little each day, greet the sun as it rises and revel in its setting, swim naked, sip coffee and wine by the shore, generate new ideas, admire myself, talk to animals, meditate, laugh, risk adventures. I must try to be soft, not hard; fluid not rigid, tender, not cold; find rather than seek. I have been embraced by the sea, tested by its elements, emptied of anxiety, cleansed with fresh thought. In the process, I have recovered myself.”
What a nice collection of thoughts…
a way to be.
Won't you join me as I grow and learn and live?
Thanks to all of you who have given so freely of yourselves…
This clip of Paul McCartney singing Little Willow has really touched me…
a gentle reminder to be flexible during the seasons of life.
“Sleep little willow
Peace gonna follow
Time will heal your wounds
Grow to the heavens
Now and forever
Always came too soon.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvRoV_Mj0pA
Mr. Edward Magorium:
No. We breathe. We pulse. We regenerate. Our hearts beat. Our minds create. Our souls ingest. 37 seconds, well used, is a lifetime. Your life is an occasion, rise to it.
Such wise words… There's no moment like the present one.
“And we must face tomorrow, whatever it may hold, with determination, joy and bravery.”
~Mr. Magorium
A warrior doesn't give up what he loves…
he finds the love in what he does. ~Socrates
“You are like a butterfly… a caterpillar's dream to fly. You bust out of this old cocoon and dry your wings off. Butterfly… go ahead and fly.” ~ Kate DiCamillo, Because of Winn-Dixie
Spring Has Sprung!
It's that time of the year again. In like a lion, out like a lamb... March winds blow and make room for April showers - those showers yield to bring May flowers. And so it goes - the cycle making its way like it does year after year. As maddening as the weather may be, lots of cool things are happening during this time of year, and I love every sign that spring has indeed sprung!
March 20th is the official first day of the spring equinox. Two days prior to the 20th, I heard a lone spring peeper calling out in the darkness. For those of you unfamiliar with the spring peeper, it's a small (fingernail sized) frog that heralds the spring season. These frogs may be small, but they are awfully noisy. Well, the little guy started calling out - looking for a mate. "PEEP! PEEP! PEEP!" He sounded pretty funny calling out in the darkness and getting no reply. For a moment I felt sorry for him, but I knew better. Before long, an entire chorus of peepers would be calling out! That chorus took about two days to materialize. The frogs are so noisy at night, that I have to keep my window closed. Granted, I live directly across the street from a wonderful wetland habitat, but those tiny little frogs are really very noisy!
In a few weeks, the spring peepers will give way to the tree frogs. The tree frogs' song is more melodic than the spring peeper's song. Once again the frog is small, about the size of your thumb, but its song is incredibly loud. The tree frogs are a mottled grey/white color, sort of like the color of concrete. They have the most gorgeous eyes, but then again, I think that many amphibians have amazing eyes! The tree frogs will chorus for another (it seems like forever) 6 weeks or so. Every once in a while, I will hear a toad or two calling for mates. Just thinking about it makes me smile.
This morning, Karl found a spotted salamander in the driveway. Yeah, big deal... it is a big deal. I bet you've never seen a salamander like this one before! It was 7, yes 7 inches long! It was easily as big around as a broom handle. Now that's not your average herp! Herps like this are notorious for coming out of hibernation around the time of the first full moon after the spring equinox. They will actually return to the very same vernal pond where they were born, in order to mate. They will travel as far as a quarter mile! That's really far... especially if you're only 7 inches long and mere millimeters from the ground! A vernal pond is a small body of water that forms in a wooded area during the spring time. Various frogs, toads and salamanders meet there, mate and lay their eggs. There is enough water in these bodies of water, to support the metamorphosis from egg to adult. By the time the vernal pond has dried up, the little guys have become adults and have gone off to be productive members of the ecosystem. Nature is really amazing, and delicately balanced. The spotted salamander spends most if its time under ground, so when you get to see one up close, it's really amazing! These beauties can live to be 20 years old.
In addition to frogs and salamanders showing up to welcome spring, the crocuses and daffodils are in full bloom here in Connecticut. The weather man claims that we're in for three days of wet weather, but I caught a glimpse of 80 for Saturday and Sunday, and I'll gladly skip through a few puddles for weather like that! Not bad. Spring has sprung, and I'm having a good time.
March 20th is the official first day of the spring equinox. Two days prior to the 20th, I heard a lone spring peeper calling out in the darkness. For those of you unfamiliar with the spring peeper, it's a small (fingernail sized) frog that heralds the spring season. These frogs may be small, but they are awfully noisy. Well, the little guy started calling out - looking for a mate. "PEEP! PEEP! PEEP!" He sounded pretty funny calling out in the darkness and getting no reply. For a moment I felt sorry for him, but I knew better. Before long, an entire chorus of peepers would be calling out! That chorus took about two days to materialize. The frogs are so noisy at night, that I have to keep my window closed. Granted, I live directly across the street from a wonderful wetland habitat, but those tiny little frogs are really very noisy!
In a few weeks, the spring peepers will give way to the tree frogs. The tree frogs' song is more melodic than the spring peeper's song. Once again the frog is small, about the size of your thumb, but its song is incredibly loud. The tree frogs are a mottled grey/white color, sort of like the color of concrete. They have the most gorgeous eyes, but then again, I think that many amphibians have amazing eyes! The tree frogs will chorus for another (it seems like forever) 6 weeks or so. Every once in a while, I will hear a toad or two calling for mates. Just thinking about it makes me smile.
This morning, Karl found a spotted salamander in the driveway. Yeah, big deal... it is a big deal. I bet you've never seen a salamander like this one before! It was 7, yes 7 inches long! It was easily as big around as a broom handle. Now that's not your average herp! Herps like this are notorious for coming out of hibernation around the time of the first full moon after the spring equinox. They will actually return to the very same vernal pond where they were born, in order to mate. They will travel as far as a quarter mile! That's really far... especially if you're only 7 inches long and mere millimeters from the ground! A vernal pond is a small body of water that forms in a wooded area during the spring time. Various frogs, toads and salamanders meet there, mate and lay their eggs. There is enough water in these bodies of water, to support the metamorphosis from egg to adult. By the time the vernal pond has dried up, the little guys have become adults and have gone off to be productive members of the ecosystem. Nature is really amazing, and delicately balanced. The spotted salamander spends most if its time under ground, so when you get to see one up close, it's really amazing! These beauties can live to be 20 years old.
In addition to frogs and salamanders showing up to welcome spring, the crocuses and daffodils are in full bloom here in Connecticut. The weather man claims that we're in for three days of wet weather, but I caught a glimpse of 80 for Saturday and Sunday, and I'll gladly skip through a few puddles for weather like that! Not bad. Spring has sprung, and I'm having a good time.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
More Things About Me 51-100
51. I have trouble remembering things. It's not becuase I'm lazy. I think it's because there's a lot of traffic in my head.
52. I love to meet new people and get to know them.
53. I design Pysanky, Ukrainian Easter Eggs, and give them away to friends and family. Sometimes my friends come before my family...
54. I believe that jewlery should be loved and worn. It wasn't meant to be squirreled away in some safe deposit box somewhere!
55. Ballet of Angels is my favorite wine. Yes, it is white.
56. On the rocks with salt, is the way I enjoy my Margaritas.
57. I don't like to get wet when I'm dry. That doesn't count when I'm taking a shower.
58. I love my birthday. I always have and I always will. It doesn't matter how old I get, I will still love it.
59. Sometimes there's an abundance of cat fur on my sweater. Don't judge me. It just means that my cat was loving me prior to the time you saw me.
60. The hotter the better.
61. I enjoy cycling. During the summer, I try to cycle at least 13 miles per day... religiously!
62. I became a Catholic before I married. I believed in being evenly yolked. No, I do not go to church every Sunday. If that means I am going to Hell, so be it.
63. I enjoy my coffee iced! Hot coffee when consumed on a daily basis, makes me crazy.
64. I'm already crazy enough.
65. My friend, Archie, often encourages me to lay down my sticks. He's basically urging me to lay down my defenses - those I use to hide insecurities. That's not so easy. I promise not to hit you with my sticks. Please trust me.
66. I have a habit of rolling my eyes.
67. I believe that eyes are the windows to the soul. That's why I try to guard mine.
68. Reading has always been a passion of mine. My all time favorite book is The Miraculous Journey of Edward Toulane by Kate DiCamillo. If you haven't read it, you really should.
69. I love the ocean, and I can't ever imagine living very far away from it.
70. No two sunrises or sunsets are ever the same. I love the way the light changes from day to day... the dance between shadow and light is magical.
71. I try to be like Dr. Dolittle. Oh, if I could talk to the animals! Believe me, I try!
72. I have owned some odd pets over the years. Snuffy, a hedgehog, was my favorite. I own a tarantula named Rosie. She's awesome.
73. I can be sarcastic.
74. When reading an email, I'm famous for reading between the lines. That's dangerous, I know.
75. My hands are worked hard. They may sometimes look funky. That doesn't mean that I don't care about them. If they were supposed to always look beautiful, they would have been placed someplace else on my body... like on my head somewhere.
76. I'm disorganized.
77. I'm a procrastinator. I work better under pressure.
78. I'm a monster under pressure.
79. I love to laugh and I've got the laugh lines to prove it.
80. When I ride the train (which is every weekday) I prefer to stand. It gives me a wider variety of people to watch.
81. I am a people watcher and interactor.
82. I have a huge soft spot in my heart for elderly people.
83. Noise distracts me. My mind wants to focus on the smallest sounds coming from the most obscure places.
84. I rarely carry a purse. It's too much work to look after it.
85. My camera is usually always with me.
86. I apply makeup only once a day, unless I'm going out somewhere special - then I MAY reapply it.
87. Red looks nice on me (or so I've been told). I don't own many pieces of red clothing.
88. I feel better about myself when I'm having a good hair day. I know that makes me sound shallow, but it's true.
89. I like to get to know people... I mean really get to know who they are and what makes them tick.
90. Sometimes I beat around the bush. Sometimes I'm direct. Sometimes I'm confused about which approach to take.
91. I know I should exercise more and eat less crap.
92. Shopping for clothing or shoes doesn't really appeal to me. I only do it because I have to. That being said, I'm never on the cutting edge of fashion.
93. I do have a nice pair of legs. You may not see them very often, but they're there.
94. I can type without looking. My students are always impressed by that. I love it when simple things impress them.
95. Cold hands, warm heart.
96. I do not have any tattoos.
97. My butt often falls asleep in the movie theater. If you see me moving around in the theater, it's not because I'm bored. It's because I feel like my body is begining to fossilize!
98. When I was a child, I used to have an insect collection - a large one. I trapped, killed and displayed the insects with the help of my father. I no longer have the collection, but would like to start a new one.
99. I rarely remember my dreams.
100. I'm complicated.
52. I love to meet new people and get to know them.
53. I design Pysanky, Ukrainian Easter Eggs, and give them away to friends and family. Sometimes my friends come before my family...
54. I believe that jewlery should be loved and worn. It wasn't meant to be squirreled away in some safe deposit box somewhere!
55. Ballet of Angels is my favorite wine. Yes, it is white.
56. On the rocks with salt, is the way I enjoy my Margaritas.
57. I don't like to get wet when I'm dry. That doesn't count when I'm taking a shower.
58. I love my birthday. I always have and I always will. It doesn't matter how old I get, I will still love it.
59. Sometimes there's an abundance of cat fur on my sweater. Don't judge me. It just means that my cat was loving me prior to the time you saw me.
60. The hotter the better.
61. I enjoy cycling. During the summer, I try to cycle at least 13 miles per day... religiously!
62. I became a Catholic before I married. I believed in being evenly yolked. No, I do not go to church every Sunday. If that means I am going to Hell, so be it.
63. I enjoy my coffee iced! Hot coffee when consumed on a daily basis, makes me crazy.
64. I'm already crazy enough.
65. My friend, Archie, often encourages me to lay down my sticks. He's basically urging me to lay down my defenses - those I use to hide insecurities. That's not so easy. I promise not to hit you with my sticks. Please trust me.
66. I have a habit of rolling my eyes.
67. I believe that eyes are the windows to the soul. That's why I try to guard mine.
68. Reading has always been a passion of mine. My all time favorite book is The Miraculous Journey of Edward Toulane by Kate DiCamillo. If you haven't read it, you really should.
69. I love the ocean, and I can't ever imagine living very far away from it.
70. No two sunrises or sunsets are ever the same. I love the way the light changes from day to day... the dance between shadow and light is magical.
71. I try to be like Dr. Dolittle. Oh, if I could talk to the animals! Believe me, I try!
72. I have owned some odd pets over the years. Snuffy, a hedgehog, was my favorite. I own a tarantula named Rosie. She's awesome.
73. I can be sarcastic.
74. When reading an email, I'm famous for reading between the lines. That's dangerous, I know.
75. My hands are worked hard. They may sometimes look funky. That doesn't mean that I don't care about them. If they were supposed to always look beautiful, they would have been placed someplace else on my body... like on my head somewhere.
76. I'm disorganized.
77. I'm a procrastinator. I work better under pressure.
78. I'm a monster under pressure.
79. I love to laugh and I've got the laugh lines to prove it.
80. When I ride the train (which is every weekday) I prefer to stand. It gives me a wider variety of people to watch.
81. I am a people watcher and interactor.
82. I have a huge soft spot in my heart for elderly people.
83. Noise distracts me. My mind wants to focus on the smallest sounds coming from the most obscure places.
84. I rarely carry a purse. It's too much work to look after it.
85. My camera is usually always with me.
86. I apply makeup only once a day, unless I'm going out somewhere special - then I MAY reapply it.
87. Red looks nice on me (or so I've been told). I don't own many pieces of red clothing.
88. I feel better about myself when I'm having a good hair day. I know that makes me sound shallow, but it's true.
89. I like to get to know people... I mean really get to know who they are and what makes them tick.
90. Sometimes I beat around the bush. Sometimes I'm direct. Sometimes I'm confused about which approach to take.
91. I know I should exercise more and eat less crap.
92. Shopping for clothing or shoes doesn't really appeal to me. I only do it because I have to. That being said, I'm never on the cutting edge of fashion.
93. I do have a nice pair of legs. You may not see them very often, but they're there.
94. I can type without looking. My students are always impressed by that. I love it when simple things impress them.
95. Cold hands, warm heart.
96. I do not have any tattoos.
97. My butt often falls asleep in the movie theater. If you see me moving around in the theater, it's not because I'm bored. It's because I feel like my body is begining to fossilize!
98. When I was a child, I used to have an insect collection - a large one. I trapped, killed and displayed the insects with the help of my father. I no longer have the collection, but would like to start a new one.
99. I rarely remember my dreams.
100. I'm complicated.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Things About Me
Here is a list of things about me that you may or may not know...
1. I love chocolate and I usually eat some every day. One year, I gave up chocolate for Lent. It wasn't good... I'd say about 39/40 days were wacky. When Easter Sunday finally rolled around, I ate chocolate before I did anything else. Yes, to say that I love chocolate, well, that's an understatement.
2. I sleep with my mouth open. I can't sleep any other way.
3. Sometimes I snore because of #2.
4. I dislike the smell of Pine Sol. Even typing this makes me shudder.
5. I wonder about everything.
6. Sometimes #5 annoys people, but it doesn't make me stop wondering.
7. I'm complicated.
8. I'm artistic.
9. I'm nosy.
10. My hair wasn't always naturally curly. There was a time when it was straight and worn in braids.
11. I have a wild sweet tooth. Just think about #1!
12. I love looking at the night sky.
13. 13 is my favorite, and lucky number. After all, I was born on the 13th.
14. I'm often late. It's not that I don't care about being on time, it's just the way I roll. Don't hate me because of it.
15. I'm insecure, and I know it.
16. I have always loved cats, even when I was highly allergic to them. I have two cats of my own.
17. My daughters feel that I can communicate with dogs. It sounds weirder than it is.
18. I have always loved mint chocolate chip ice cream.
19. I am a true Libra. I always strive for balance. Unbalanced scales make me crazy.
20. I have trouble remembering names. Yes, I know that names should come easily for teachers, but I struggle to remember them.
21. Adventure is always welcomed.
22. Nature fascinates me.
23. I don't eat asparagus. Yes, there's a story behind that one...
24. Certain foods or candies can take me back to my childhood with just one taste or smell.
25. My parents are great. I'm lucky that I have them as part of my family.
26. I am impatient.
27. My mother used to try and force me to eat liver and onions. I don't eat something that filter's an animals waste. Thank you very much!
28. I love to drive - fast.
29. I don't like being wrong.
30. I'm loud.
31. Sometimes I talk too much.
32. Numbers 29, 30 and 31 can be really annoying.
33. I wish I knew how to be quiet.
34. I love Science.
35. I can wiggle my ears. The kids love that!
36. McDonald's Filet-O-Fish has always been my favorite.
37. My toes go in descending order from the big toe down to the pinky toe.
38. My car has a name.
39. I had a 1.6 GPA after two years of college, transferred to a new school and graduated Cum Laude; with Honors.
40. I love marshmallow Peeps. I can eat them any time of the day, and prefer them slightly stale. They taste better that way!
41. The Wizard of Oz and The Sound of Music are my all time favorite movies. As a child, I never got to see the end of The Sound of Music... it was always on WAY past my bedtime. I didn't see the end of the movie until I was older.
42. The older I get, the worse my sense of smell gets, but the better my sense of hearing gets. Go figure!
43. I love photography.
44. My crazy, curly hair is never brushed. Brushes break curly hair.
45. Both of my children were delivered 100% naturally, and they came VERY quickly.
46. Bugs are awesome. I love bugs.
47. My best friend from childhood, Heather, and I have not seen each other since we were 11. Last weekend we were reunited, and it was amazing. Boy, we have a lot of catching up to do. She's amazing, and a source of inspiration for me.
48. I love the way snow makes everything sound so muted.
49. Whenever I leave Germany, I blink back the tears as the plane is taking off. I always promise myself that I'll return... even if it does take me a while to get there. I am sad when there is an ocean separating me from my Oma.
50. Marzipan coupled with chocolate is my all time favorite. My Oma still remembers that, and she's 94!
Okay, so now you know 50 new things about me... maybe. I say maybe because some of the items on this list might not be new to you. I hope you enjoyed my list!
Hugs!
-Susan
1. I love chocolate and I usually eat some every day. One year, I gave up chocolate for Lent. It wasn't good... I'd say about 39/40 days were wacky. When Easter Sunday finally rolled around, I ate chocolate before I did anything else. Yes, to say that I love chocolate, well, that's an understatement.
2. I sleep with my mouth open. I can't sleep any other way.
3. Sometimes I snore because of #2.
4. I dislike the smell of Pine Sol. Even typing this makes me shudder.
5. I wonder about everything.
6. Sometimes #5 annoys people, but it doesn't make me stop wondering.
7. I'm complicated.
8. I'm artistic.
9. I'm nosy.
10. My hair wasn't always naturally curly. There was a time when it was straight and worn in braids.
11. I have a wild sweet tooth. Just think about #1!
12. I love looking at the night sky.
13. 13 is my favorite, and lucky number. After all, I was born on the 13th.
14. I'm often late. It's not that I don't care about being on time, it's just the way I roll. Don't hate me because of it.
15. I'm insecure, and I know it.
16. I have always loved cats, even when I was highly allergic to them. I have two cats of my own.
17. My daughters feel that I can communicate with dogs. It sounds weirder than it is.
18. I have always loved mint chocolate chip ice cream.
19. I am a true Libra. I always strive for balance. Unbalanced scales make me crazy.
20. I have trouble remembering names. Yes, I know that names should come easily for teachers, but I struggle to remember them.
21. Adventure is always welcomed.
22. Nature fascinates me.
23. I don't eat asparagus. Yes, there's a story behind that one...
24. Certain foods or candies can take me back to my childhood with just one taste or smell.
25. My parents are great. I'm lucky that I have them as part of my family.
26. I am impatient.
27. My mother used to try and force me to eat liver and onions. I don't eat something that filter's an animals waste. Thank you very much!
28. I love to drive - fast.
29. I don't like being wrong.
30. I'm loud.
31. Sometimes I talk too much.
32. Numbers 29, 30 and 31 can be really annoying.
33. I wish I knew how to be quiet.
34. I love Science.
35. I can wiggle my ears. The kids love that!
36. McDonald's Filet-O-Fish has always been my favorite.
37. My toes go in descending order from the big toe down to the pinky toe.
38. My car has a name.
39. I had a 1.6 GPA after two years of college, transferred to a new school and graduated Cum Laude; with Honors.
40. I love marshmallow Peeps. I can eat them any time of the day, and prefer them slightly stale. They taste better that way!
41. The Wizard of Oz and The Sound of Music are my all time favorite movies. As a child, I never got to see the end of The Sound of Music... it was always on WAY past my bedtime. I didn't see the end of the movie until I was older.
42. The older I get, the worse my sense of smell gets, but the better my sense of hearing gets. Go figure!
43. I love photography.
44. My crazy, curly hair is never brushed. Brushes break curly hair.
45. Both of my children were delivered 100% naturally, and they came VERY quickly.
46. Bugs are awesome. I love bugs.
47. My best friend from childhood, Heather, and I have not seen each other since we were 11. Last weekend we were reunited, and it was amazing. Boy, we have a lot of catching up to do. She's amazing, and a source of inspiration for me.
48. I love the way snow makes everything sound so muted.
49. Whenever I leave Germany, I blink back the tears as the plane is taking off. I always promise myself that I'll return... even if it does take me a while to get there. I am sad when there is an ocean separating me from my Oma.
50. Marzipan coupled with chocolate is my all time favorite. My Oma still remembers that, and she's 94!
Okay, so now you know 50 new things about me... maybe. I say maybe because some of the items on this list might not be new to you. I hope you enjoyed my list!
Hugs!
-Susan
Friday, March 26, 2010
Half Full or Half Empty
There are always multiple ways of looking at things. For most, it's cut and dry. Half full or half empty. For years, I was always viewing the world from the half empty perspective, but that gets tiring. Always looking for a flaw or a reason why something won't work - playing the Devil's advocate, if you will. Albeit fun (at times), it's a lot of work - not to mention draining as well! I'm tired of looking at the half empty glass. Time for a shift in perspective.
First of all, I've got my health, which is not something that everyone can proclaim. I think it has something to do with the yogurts and Special K that I eat daily. LOL! All kidding aside, I made up my mind a few years ago that I was going to get in shape. I lost 24 pounds, and have managed to keep most of the pounds off. That's no easy feat, especially considering the fact that I love chocolate, and eat some every day, but that's a blog entry unto itself.
Second of all, I have an amazing, supportive family. We don't live in the same town, or even in the same state for that matter, but we hold one another in our hearts. As for my girls and Karl, they're the best. I am very lucky and I know it. Without support, life is a struggle. It's a struggle against all of the things that work against you. Support changes things, and it has changed my life.
Friends. I've been blessed with wonderful and amazing friends. I make friends easily, and they surround me like a warm blanket. There's nothing like getting refreshed or recharged when you see or speak with a friend. I'm thankful that I have a variety of friends, for we all know that variety is the spice of life. I wish that everyone could have friends like mine. I especially like the fact that my friends keep it real - like reminding me that it's normal for my cheese to be moved from time to time!
Cheese, and it's location comes next on my list. It's easy to forget that sometimes your cheese gets moved. Of course it doesn't move itself, someone or something moves it. If you had a map to the maze, well, you'd always know where your cheese was, and then what would be the point? Things would be so easy Where would the lesson to be learned? At that point, why even have cheese at all. I suppose it all boils down to what Keith always says to me. "Look deeper. Did you look deeper?" Looking deeper isn't easy. It's like accepting that someone moved your cheese, and setting off in search of it. Life is a constant... a constant change. So why would you expect the cheese to always be at the end of any given road? Exactly! Yeah, when the cheese moves, go with the flow - adapt and enjoy... cheddar ain't the only cheese in the world, you know.
I've gone from glasses being half empty or half full, to cheese. Those two go together. Remembering that the glass is half full and that it's normal for life to move your cheese from time to time. Today, the life lesson from the glass and the cheese was the following: "We will always find what we look for; if we look for the bad, we will find it. If we look for the good, we will find that too. But what we look for, we become!" Thanks, Larry, for that perspective. For me, it was a wake up call. Thanks for having forsight and perseverance. Right now, the cheese is calling, and I'm off to savor my adventure as I enjoy the taste of new cheese!
First of all, I've got my health, which is not something that everyone can proclaim. I think it has something to do with the yogurts and Special K that I eat daily. LOL! All kidding aside, I made up my mind a few years ago that I was going to get in shape. I lost 24 pounds, and have managed to keep most of the pounds off. That's no easy feat, especially considering the fact that I love chocolate, and eat some every day, but that's a blog entry unto itself.
Second of all, I have an amazing, supportive family. We don't live in the same town, or even in the same state for that matter, but we hold one another in our hearts. As for my girls and Karl, they're the best. I am very lucky and I know it. Without support, life is a struggle. It's a struggle against all of the things that work against you. Support changes things, and it has changed my life.
Friends. I've been blessed with wonderful and amazing friends. I make friends easily, and they surround me like a warm blanket. There's nothing like getting refreshed or recharged when you see or speak with a friend. I'm thankful that I have a variety of friends, for we all know that variety is the spice of life. I wish that everyone could have friends like mine. I especially like the fact that my friends keep it real - like reminding me that it's normal for my cheese to be moved from time to time!
Cheese, and it's location comes next on my list. It's easy to forget that sometimes your cheese gets moved. Of course it doesn't move itself, someone or something moves it. If you had a map to the maze, well, you'd always know where your cheese was, and then what would be the point? Things would be so easy Where would the lesson to be learned? At that point, why even have cheese at all. I suppose it all boils down to what Keith always says to me. "Look deeper. Did you look deeper?" Looking deeper isn't easy. It's like accepting that someone moved your cheese, and setting off in search of it. Life is a constant... a constant change. So why would you expect the cheese to always be at the end of any given road? Exactly! Yeah, when the cheese moves, go with the flow - adapt and enjoy... cheddar ain't the only cheese in the world, you know.
I've gone from glasses being half empty or half full, to cheese. Those two go together. Remembering that the glass is half full and that it's normal for life to move your cheese from time to time. Today, the life lesson from the glass and the cheese was the following: "We will always find what we look for; if we look for the bad, we will find it. If we look for the good, we will find that too. But what we look for, we become!" Thanks, Larry, for that perspective. For me, it was a wake up call. Thanks for having forsight and perseverance. Right now, the cheese is calling, and I'm off to savor my adventure as I enjoy the taste of new cheese!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Sometimes...
it's crazy how a few words can make a flood of emotions wash over me. The wounds are healed from the outside, but certain words feel like glass in my throat - and that's when I hear them... never when I speak them. My heart rate quickens and I tense up.
Damn words.
Time heals all wounds.
Does it really?
Where's my mind eraser? You know - like in Vanilla Sky?
Yeah, that one didn't work out either.
If people really knew that what they said could fuck with your mind forever, do you think they'd choose their words more carefully, or would they continue to use their words like weapons? I already know the answer to that. They would use their words like weapons as a means of self preservation.
Damn words.
I held my tongue as to not cut with it. I have played over those words in my mind. Over and over and over. I have banished them from the corners of my mind. I do not dwell on them and I try not to play with them that often any more, but when I hear them spoken by someone else... well then those flood gates open up and the demons have a party. I have a throat full of glass and sorrow washes through my veins.
Just remember that sometimes, you should hold your own tongue too.
Damn words.
Time heals all wounds.
Does it really?
Where's my mind eraser? You know - like in Vanilla Sky?
Yeah, that one didn't work out either.
If people really knew that what they said could fuck with your mind forever, do you think they'd choose their words more carefully, or would they continue to use their words like weapons? I already know the answer to that. They would use their words like weapons as a means of self preservation.
Damn words.
I held my tongue as to not cut with it. I have played over those words in my mind. Over and over and over. I have banished them from the corners of my mind. I do not dwell on them and I try not to play with them that often any more, but when I hear them spoken by someone else... well then those flood gates open up and the demons have a party. I have a throat full of glass and sorrow washes through my veins.
Just remember that sometimes, you should hold your own tongue too.
In Like a Lion...
March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb...
and how true THAT'S been this year - at least in my neck of the woods. We've had rain, and lots of it lately, and the wet ground just couldn't take much more. On Saturday, March 13th, we endured one Hell of a rain storm. Winds originated out of Oz and the rain pelted down. Trees released their roots from the ground... almost as if they were trying to move to higher ground. Well, we all know that trees can't walk, so those trees fell flat on their faces! As they fell, they stretched their branches out and tried to grab onto anything they could... and anything usually ended up being houses and powerlines.
"Do you know the origin of the weather proverb about March, "in like a lion, out like a lamb"? For most locations, the average temperature at the end of the month is higher than at the beginning, so the proverb typically has some meteorological truth to it, but where did it come from?
The phrase apparently has its origins with the constellations Leo, the Lion, and Aries, the ram or lamb. It has to do with the relative positions of these constellations in the sky at the beginning and end of the month. But don't take my word for it, check out this illustrative cartoon from the Stargazer himself, Jack Horkheimer."
Posted by Bob Swanson at 04:37 PM/ET, February 28, 2006 Permalink
Yup... once again, related to the stars. And that weather we had on the 13th, was in many ways, the perfect storm. Monday the 15th, was the Ides of March. It also coincided with a new moon (which can be just as powerful as the full moon). The storm blew in and before we knew it, nothing but a huge mess was left in its wake. We're all chomping at the bit for warm weather. Perhaps one of the consolations that we have is the fact that March goes out like a lamb, and since were already approaching March 24th, the lamb is right around the corner. It's officially Spring and lamb like days are going to be around more often.
Until then... I've got my eyes turned to the sky... looking straight ahead, with Aries on the horizon, soon I'll be marching into April!
and how true THAT'S been this year - at least in my neck of the woods. We've had rain, and lots of it lately, and the wet ground just couldn't take much more. On Saturday, March 13th, we endured one Hell of a rain storm. Winds originated out of Oz and the rain pelted down. Trees released their roots from the ground... almost as if they were trying to move to higher ground. Well, we all know that trees can't walk, so those trees fell flat on their faces! As they fell, they stretched their branches out and tried to grab onto anything they could... and anything usually ended up being houses and powerlines.
"Do you know the origin of the weather proverb about March, "in like a lion, out like a lamb"? For most locations, the average temperature at the end of the month is higher than at the beginning, so the proverb typically has some meteorological truth to it, but where did it come from?
The phrase apparently has its origins with the constellations Leo, the Lion, and Aries, the ram or lamb. It has to do with the relative positions of these constellations in the sky at the beginning and end of the month. But don't take my word for it, check out this illustrative cartoon from the Stargazer himself, Jack Horkheimer."
Posted by Bob Swanson at 04:37 PM/ET, February 28, 2006 Permalink
Yup... once again, related to the stars. And that weather we had on the 13th, was in many ways, the perfect storm. Monday the 15th, was the Ides of March. It also coincided with a new moon (which can be just as powerful as the full moon). The storm blew in and before we knew it, nothing but a huge mess was left in its wake. We're all chomping at the bit for warm weather. Perhaps one of the consolations that we have is the fact that March goes out like a lamb, and since were already approaching March 24th, the lamb is right around the corner. It's officially Spring and lamb like days are going to be around more often.
Until then... I've got my eyes turned to the sky... looking straight ahead, with Aries on the horizon, soon I'll be marching into April!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Libra's Northern Claw
Balance. I am constantly seeking balance. You may not see that at first. Inside, there is a storm, and I seek a way to calm the waters using balance. Sometimes the storm is at bay, and things are quiet. Other times, the storm is raging, and things are ugly. Always seeking the path that leads to balanced scales.
As a true Libra, the quest for balance should not come as a surprise to you. Nor should the fact that my birthday is known as "The Day of the Tough Cookie". I actually laughed out loud when I read that one. Boy, have they got me pegged! This weekend, I learned something new about the constellation of Libra.
There used to be only 11 signs in the zodiac, and those 11 were all living things. The calendar had 12 months, and so balance was sought after and the constellation of Libra was born. How odd... the need for balance gave birth to the scales. Interesting! The scales of Libra were squeezed into the sky between Scorpio, the scorpion and Virgo, the virgin. That being said, Scorpio used to have some really long claws, but they were lopped off in the attempt to balance out the sky.
The star Zubeneschamali, which means "northern claw" is the top of the constellation. The star Zubenelgenubi, which means "southern claw" is located to the right of Zubeneschamali. Zubenelakrab, which means "scorpion's claw" is the third star, and it is located to the left of Zubeneschamali. The the three stars form a triangle. A line descends from each end of the triangle, and those lines represent the baskets that would weigh items.
In the quest for balance, I begin this blog. Blogger is my new home, as the site I have called my home for 2 1/2 years will be closing shop at the end of this month. I hope you will join me on this journey, as I marvel in the things which balance my scales and rant about the things that throw my balance off.
I raise Zubeneschamali and tip my head slightly... come on in and stay a while. Read and think and enjoy. Take time to dig deeper and look closer. Make sense of the world around you and drink it all in. If you're lucky, you'll have a spring in your step and a song in your heart and I'd like you along they way, right by my side. Remember the possibilities of a New Day Yawning!
As a true Libra, the quest for balance should not come as a surprise to you. Nor should the fact that my birthday is known as "The Day of the Tough Cookie". I actually laughed out loud when I read that one. Boy, have they got me pegged! This weekend, I learned something new about the constellation of Libra.
There used to be only 11 signs in the zodiac, and those 11 were all living things. The calendar had 12 months, and so balance was sought after and the constellation of Libra was born. How odd... the need for balance gave birth to the scales. Interesting! The scales of Libra were squeezed into the sky between Scorpio, the scorpion and Virgo, the virgin. That being said, Scorpio used to have some really long claws, but they were lopped off in the attempt to balance out the sky.
The star Zubeneschamali, which means "northern claw" is the top of the constellation. The star Zubenelgenubi, which means "southern claw" is located to the right of Zubeneschamali. Zubenelakrab, which means "scorpion's claw" is the third star, and it is located to the left of Zubeneschamali. The the three stars form a triangle. A line descends from each end of the triangle, and those lines represent the baskets that would weigh items.
In the quest for balance, I begin this blog. Blogger is my new home, as the site I have called my home for 2 1/2 years will be closing shop at the end of this month. I hope you will join me on this journey, as I marvel in the things which balance my scales and rant about the things that throw my balance off.
I raise Zubeneschamali and tip my head slightly... come on in and stay a while. Read and think and enjoy. Take time to dig deeper and look closer. Make sense of the world around you and drink it all in. If you're lucky, you'll have a spring in your step and a song in your heart and I'd like you along they way, right by my side. Remember the possibilities of a New Day Yawning!
"A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your step as you walk the tightrope of life."
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